Well, we talked to Jax about school all summer, he was soo excited to go, some of his friends and his sister already go to school so he was thrilled. As time approached he mentioned about me staying with him, I would say "nope, your a big boy and its your school" he would just smile. We went to sneak preview and met his teachers and saw his classroom, we played with toys and saw some friends, he was nervous.
So as we got ready for his first day, we got dressed, had breakfast and the girls that I watched arrived. Jax told them that he was going to school, we got his backpack and took pics.
He was all excited.
So we took off and I can see him getting more nervous, he was thinking, "is she really going to leave me?" We arrived and went inside.
We hung up his bag and put his stuff in his cubby, I said "ok you are going to stay and play and I will be back after your done and pick you up", he freaked and clug to my leg. I'm thinking, great what am I going to do. So I stayed a few minutes and tried to get him to play with he other kids. Some kids were getting dropped off, some went right away and played, others cried. I thought, great this is not going to work.
There are many moms who take different approaches to leaving their kids at daycare or preschool. There are the drop and runs, keeping it quick and simple no matter what. There are the ones who stay for a few mins and try to engage and bribe their child to stay and then leave. There are the ones who sneak out when the child isnt looking, and then there are the lingerers, who stay until their child tells them they can leave.
You are probably wondering which approach I decided to take, well it was the sneak out, the worst one possible. Not only does it leave your child uncertain of anything but it makes them feel insecure and abandoned. But it was the only thing I could think of, the kid was clinging to my leg and he started to play with the boys so I thought he would be alright. Not to mention I had 3 other kids with me so sneaking out was hard. It was fine until I hit the car, I heard him freak out and cry my name. I felt horrible, "do I go back in and comfort him?, or just leave?" So I sat and pondered and thought maybe he would stop but he didn't, I had to leave, it was best for both of us.
I wanted to cry, how could I do such a thing to my baby boy. I was at home with other kids and he was there crying for me, how could I sneak out, he will never trust me again, all these things went through my head, "I would never do that to him again", I thought but what was I going to do?
It was the longest 2.5 hours of my life, I kept looking at the schedule they gave me and thought , "ok, well he is having snack time right now, hes fine, he loves the snack I packed him. Then they are going to do crafts and reading then I can go get him". I arrived a few minutes early to take a peak, he was playing at the train table with some boys, not crying, just playing. I walked in and he hugged me, I said "are you ready to go home?" he said "yes" and we got his stuff and left. He said on the way home, "I cried for you" and it melted my heart.
We had 2 days to prepare for his next school day, what was I going to do?
