mom van etiquette

So I think there is a certain etiquette to follow when driving a mini van. I feel like the most responsible "soccer mom" who is cheerful and positive.  There are so many things I'm just not sure of when i am driving a mini van, maybe some people can help me out.

When I decided to get a mini van I thought, there goes the MILF. I will be a soccer mom now not the MILF I once was, that was ok with me but it was a hard transition.

When driving a mini van I said before that I feel weird leaving a bar in it, should I be driving the van to a bar? Should I be having a beer and driving a mini van?? It just doesn't seem right.

What about road rage and giving the bird? Today this guy driving a car cut me off and honked his horn in anger at me today, I flipped him off then thought. Its not really cool to be in a mom van and flip someone off. It looks way cooler from someone in an SUV but in a mini van? They were probably like "oh really, what's mommy going to do about it?", it just didn't seem right when I did it (not to mention i had all 3 kids with me but 2 were sleeping and one not even paying attention). I wanted to chase him down and yell out the window but then I thought, I'm in a mini van, not cool.

The old road poke, now could be fun and cool, which was how Jaxson John was conceived but in a mini van? It just doesn't seem right. Even though there would be more room , it just doesn't seem right to me.

Speeding,  I do like to drive fast, not only because I am usually running late but I just always feel like I am in a hurry but I hardly ever speed in the van, I don't know why its weird. Mini vans aren't supposed to be fast and crazy I guess, we are hauling precious cargo.

I just feel that their is a certain perception on moms who drive vans, they do say they are one of the most safest vehicles out there to drive, maybe its because of this etiquette moms are following.


UPDATE:
Lets just say my mom van didn't last very long, I just couldn't do it, we went back to an SUV, but at times I see a van and those sliding doors that were once so easy with kids and I sometimes feel jealous but then I quickly snap out of it.

I want my own bathroom

ohhhh that's right, I do have my own bathroom which is off of MY bedroom. So why do the boys insist on using MY bathroom. Jaxson says "its comfy in there!!" What does that even mean??. Scary things happen in bathrooms with boys. In the last few weeks here is what I had to deal with:

-pee on the floor, and yes of course I stepped in it

-sitting in pee in the middle of the night on the seat. How hard is it for boys to lift up the seat!!???? I'm 9 mos pregnant and up at least 3 times a night to pee, nothing worse than your first nightly pee and sitting in urine, and its not even your urine, not sure if that would even make me feel better.

-toothpaste EVERYWHERE!!!! Can't they keep it in the tube!!?? Last week it ended up on my hair straightener and didn't realize it until I started using it, toothpaste in my hair, you can't get that smell and stickiness out unless you rewash it

-toothpaste on my brush, again, toothpaste in my hair

-with my growing belly I didn't realize the toothpaste on the counter, leaned right into it, I was already for work, so annoying to try to wipe it off my shirt, again you smell it all day long.

-toys! There are toys everywhere, its like they can't use the restroom without bringing toys in, which then I step on in the middle of my nightly pee breaks. And if I find the fake spider on the floor again, I might either have a heart attack or actually go into labor, scares the shit out of me every time!

I have seen some weird things in the bathroom, I'm not even sure if they fully outgrow their messiness. So how many years left do I have to deal with this??

we are back and better than ever!!!

Wow, I can't believe its been a few years since I have shared, to this day I have people asking me about this blog and asking why I stopped and I now see I have almost 10,000 views. Amazing!!! Well to be honest I stopped because life happened, 3 kids, I opening my own business and then another business. Lots of changes. I do miss blogging so I am going to bring it back, I mean honestly my kids are hilarious so why not share!!

Oh, on that note, we are about to add another kid to the mix, a baby girl due at the end of this month, should make things more interesting for sure, should my blog name change?? I guess we can remain my 3 and the baby can be the ...and then some!!! whatever, onto the funny stuff, here is what happened to me this morning....

Hudson is now 5. He is the baby, as of right now, of the family. He has had a cold for the past week, clear runny nose, morning cough, blah, blah, He's the whiny one, but last night about 4-5pm he was complaining of a sore throat. I am thinking, great right before a holiday weekend, why not!!  I knew it was going to be a long night, on top of the 3 times I get up and go to the bathroom, and the 4-5 times I wake up because my pelvis feels like its going to split open,,,, the joys of third trimester. So yes to get back to the story, it was a long night of no sleep, Hudson woke up twice crying and coughing and complaining of his throat hurting. We woke up early and he said he couldn't swallow. I got him an ice pop and contemplated calling the doctor. I should make an appointment thinking if I didn't and it ended up with being strep on the long weekend we would be screwed. So I called...

His pediatrician is very good at squeezing me in early as he knows I have to open my business at 10am. So off we went at 8:15. The only down side of getting squeezed in is the waiting. We waited an hour in the exam room, Every 10 minutes that went by I was more nervous about making it to work on time, also having time to run home and pack my lunch and get to work, because you know the day I run late is the time I have customers waiting at the door....never fails.

9:35 the doctor comes in, at this time Hudson has watched a movie on my phone and was kinda dozing off on my lap. As soon as the doctor walks in Hudson gets up and goes over and hugs him, He says hi to Hudson and states, "Oh Hudson I hear you have a sore throat" Hudson replies, "no".

The doctor looks at me. I look at him and say, "Hudson your throat doesn't hurt?" He says, "no its all better, can I have a lollipop?" I am in a daze, I'm 9 months pregnant, no sleep, ran out of the house to make sure he doesn't have strep, waiting an hour in the exam room, going to be late to work and he says he's fine?? The rage takes over my body, I can feel myself about to explode, I think the doctor knew it, he says, "well with colds and post nasal drip can cause a sore throat in the morning".
 I said, "yes I realize that and wouldn't be here if I thought it was that, he started complaining of it yesterday and I was up with him multiple times last night". He says, well "no strep, keep nose clear and drink lots of fluids"

 Well great, guess whos the crazy one?? Yep, the crazy mom who brings her kid to the doctors and insists he is sick, when hes perfectly fine, yep me!

We walk out the door and down the hall, Hudson turns to me and says, "Dr J always makes me feel better, my throat doesn't hurt anymore" I say, "yes, how wonderful", but what  I really wanted to say is, your lucky I don't shove that lollipop down your throat and make it hurt right now., but I didn't!!

Theres nothing like cosleeping

There is nothing like not having any room, the snoring, the farts, and kids everywhere in your bed. Don't get me wrong I love cosleeping most of the time but there is nothing like a romantic night with your husband with 2 kids in your bed. Its hard to get frisky to say the least. We have Jax at the bottom of the bed and Hudson between us, a few weeks back Jax was between us. It was late at night and we were up late watching a movie. I had said something smart to Isreal and he says, "don't make me spank you", before I was even able to say anything Jax pops his head up and goes, "who me???" 

This kid was in a dead sleep, he hears the word "spank" and it apparently triggers something. We started laughing and I said "yes if you don't go back to bed"


When we want to watch something in bed and the kids are still awake we usually give them the iphone or kindle to watch their shows on while we watch ours.

One night Jax was laying in his usual position at the end of the bed facing us with the iphone, we were watching The Walking Dead which if you don't know its about zombies. At a commercial break Jax goes, "wow that was a scary part", I said "what??" well apparently he had watched the whole show using the iphone turned off so he was watching the reflection through the black screen. I almost freaked, I was surprised he didn't have nightmares that night!!!

kids say the darndest things at the darndest times

As we left Jaxson's school the other day we chatted about his day, he talked about his friends, what they did in class and as we passed by some houses there sat an elderly woman on the stairs. She must have been 5 feet from us when we walked by to get to our car. As we were passing her Jax asks loudly" why doesn't she have her teeth yet?"

I scurried him along as fast as I could not making eye contact with the elderly woman. I just whispered, "she had her teeth but she didn't brush so they fell out, that's what will happen to you if you don't brush your teeth". He just looked at me and said, "I better go home and brush, I don't want my teeth to fall out". He continued on about how the woman eats and chews gum without teeth.

I don't know how kids say the darndest things at the least moment you want them too because I know she heard him, it probably wasn't as bad as when Kailey asked me why that man was so fat as we stood in line at the grocery store, at least this time we could quickly escape, but with Kailey we were stuck in line with the "fat man" in front of us, no where to turn.........

Jax, a dinosaur and soccer

It has been awhile since I have watched 4 year olds play soccer, and during the summer I had asked Jax several times if he wanted to play and of course he said yes. I thought it would get all his energy out at night and possibly go to bed earlier.

 

So when soccer started he was pretty excited, we went to several practices and he tried his best.

 

The first game came around and I guess Jax didnt understand that you would have to play against another team. He said he only wanted to play with his team not with another team. Explaining it the best I could he refused to go on the field.

 

I tried to bribe him with ice cream, that didnt work, I tried threatening, explaining his team needed him and forcing him on the field but as soon as I walked off he was right behind me. Nothing was working.

 

 

So the first game didnt go as planned, maybe next time.

 

The second game rolled around and Jax again refused to go on the field. His coach actually got him on the field with her and as all the kids were playing Jax was also playing, not soccer, but in the dirt. He was sitting on the field playing in the dirt as all the other kids ran around him.

 

I know its hard to see but in the middle is Jax playing in the dirt

 

Now the other parents laughed and thought it was cute, I just thought well we were making progress he is actually on the field during the game. Later on that game he stood up a few times, and ran off the field to ask if he was done yet. So the second game wasnt as bad as the first.

 

 

I thought over and over, how am I going to get him on the field to play? During practice he would run and kick the ball and play soccer but when it came to a game he refused.

 

The third game came and I was like, can't freaking wait, I almost wanted to give up but we went. Kailey went with us, I thought she might be able to talk him into playing. We were at the field and of course he refused to play, he wouldnt play in the dirt either and I asked , "Do you want Kailey to come out and stand with you?" he said, "yes" and off they went. I saw him running around not chasing after the ball but chasing after the other kids, but I didnt care, I was proud, he was on the field and running.

 

So I began to see what was really going on, Kailey was chasing Jaxson and he was running from her, I had no idea what she was doing. During the break I asked, and she explained that she was a dinosaur chasing Jaxson and he had to go get the ball. I thought" whatever works"

 

So there I was, watching this game, my 12 year old is growling like a dinosaur and my 4 year old is running from her, the other kids are just looking at her thinking she was crazy and running from her. But he was going after the ball, so I didnt care.

 

Who ever would have thought soccer would have turned out like this.

 

 

 

 

Bad Influences

Well Jax is at that age, 4, copies everything the older kids do. Here is a recent Jax story.

We had company over one day, they have older children, and I decided to take them to get ice cream. On the way the older boy says, "hey Kailey, do you know what I saw on utube?", Kailey says, "what", he then says, "Jax say Bucket". So of course Jax says "bucket?" "awww man", the boy responds, "it didn't work" so he then turns to Hudson and says, "Hudson say Bucket". Hudson of course says Bucket but comes out, "Fuck it". I immediately said, "umm not a good idea, please do not do that again". So Jax continues to laugh and say, "Hudson say Bucket" over and over, Hudson laughing not knowing why its funny and says "fuck it", the kids laughing. Thank goodness we got to the ice cream store.

Fast forward to 2 weeks and we are at my store, A nice little Amish family is shopping for clothing and the mother was talking to me about the kids. "Yes this is Hudson, he is 2......." Jax interrupts and says, "Hudson can say Bucket", turns to Hudson, and before I can stop him of course he says, "Hudson saaaay bucket", trying to interrupt him before the words come out but it doesn't happen, Hudson says"fuck it" and her mouth dropped, and my face immediately is flaming red and I just shake my head no, and say, "I have no idea where that comes from". She didn't know what to say or do, she was speechless and so was I, her mouth dropped open and she finally says, "oh my".

How in the Hell after 2 weeks and of all the time for Jax to do this, it has to be in front of the nice Amish family? And how does he remember this from 2 weeks ago and why on earth does he think its soo funny when he has no idea what it even means?

Life with boys

Life with boys:

When I knew I wanted kids I always wanted a little boy, I couldn't wait to raise one. Now I have 2 of them. Life, I'm sure, will never be the same. There definitely is never a dull moment in my life.

Yesterday Jax said, "I have to poop." Ok, great, which means that in 5 minutes I will have to go in and wipe his butt. Just another mommy duty. So sure enough he yells for me and I walk in, we do the usual butt wipe and he stands up to flush, but before I flush he yells, "WAIT!!!!! MOMMY!!!! Startled, I said "what". He says "look at the small one, right there, it looks like a Space ship". I'm thinking, what the hell is he talking about. He says, "look, see the small one next to the big poop?" So yes I look in, and sure enough, it looks like a space ship, formed just right.

At that moment I knew my life had changed forever.  I never in a million years thought that I would be looking in the toilet at someone elses poop and see if it resembles a space ship!!.

Wiener Game

So we started potty training Hudson, well not really, but he likes to wear underwear in the evenings. Makes him feel like a big boy. I was tagging clothes in our craft room and Hudson went in the living room to show Jax that he was wearing underwear. I hear Jax saying, "oh you have underwear on, good job" I just smiled, Hudson was so proud, then I heard the word wiener and I stopped what I was doing to listen. I then heard, "lets play the wiener game".

 Immediately, I thought "Oh God, what is the wiener game?" I slowly got up off the ground, I can hear the boys laughing and running, as I walked into the living room, I see two little boys with their wieners hanging out the sides of their underwear and running around the living room. I said, "what are you guys doing" Jax says, "playing the wiener game", I said "what is the wiener game?" and he said, "we pull our wieners out of our underwear's and run around", I'm thinking, "oh God why did I have boys, they are soo gross". So now we have the wiener game and I'm sure that won't be the last time its played.

 Lets just hope Jax doesn't go to school and talk about how he plays the wiener game at home!!!!

The Plague

So the plague hit the family this past weekend. Fortunately only Kailey had it. But what you don't know is when Kailey is sick, everyone knows about it and suffers as well. She is a bit dramatic with pain and the whole house can hear her. She cries, she screams, she begs and pleads like someone is killing her. "mommy help me", "I cant do this anymore", "Please help me", "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Yep I can go on.

The throwing up began at 10:30pm, at about 2:30am that morning she was begging for her life, and believe me at that time I really wanted to kill her, just put her out of her misery, but I was trying to be the good mother that I am and console her, but really there was nothing I could do. Jax was awake for the beginning part of it, he was concerned and curious as to what was going on in the bathroom. He couldn't sleep with all the noise going on. But seriously who could.

At one point he began to cry, I thought he was worried about his sister because you would have thought she was dying. So here I am, in and out of the bathroom with a child getting sick and crying, back to the bed where I was consoling Jax from crying because he was worried.

And where was Isreal, the father?? He was hiding in the living room because he didn't want to catch the dreaded bug.

At about 11pm Jax began to cry again, I said "seriously why are you crying now?", I'm not sure if he was deliriously tired or what but he was crying because he wanted his sister to throw up. He states, "I want Kailey to throw up", I said "what?".  He says, "well I don't want to see her throw up, I just want to hear her throw up", "what is wrong with this child?" He was wishing the ultimate punishment on his sister just so he can hear. He kept saying "I want to hear Kailey throw up" I didn't even know what to say, I started laughing, and Kailey began to cry.

So there you have it, my night was Hell, one kid wishing the other kid was puke and one kid thinking she was dying, and my sweet husband hiding in living room with all his support from the couch!! Good times!!

Thankfully it was a quick stomach bug and Kailey survived, the plague didn't kill her and she is lucky that I didn't either. Jax got his wish, he heard Kailey get sick a few more times and peacefully fell asleep. Everyone was better the next morning!!!

Farts are funny!!

So there we were at Jax's preschool St Patricks day party. There was a small crowd of parents than normal and the snacks were all eaten. The teacher called the kids over to the circle rug for share time. The parents were invited to stay and watch. A little boy gets up and shows his truck, and did a very nice job. Next was a little girl, showing her doll. Jax was sitting very nicely listening to the other kids share their toys. Everything was gong smoothly. There was a silence in the room while this little voice spoke of her doll and how she sleeps with her at night when all of a sudden you hear a "brrrrRRRRRRRT"  Oh yeah if you don't know what that word is, its a fart noise.

You will never guess who let out that big ripper of a fart during share time. You guessed it, my little boy Jax. He got really embarrassed as two boys moved away from him, he put his hand over his mouth and began to chuckle.

I thought "oh god", and started to snicker. I know, I know, how immature of me to snicker, but he was soo freaking funny. I'm sorry that I am almost 31 and think farts are still funny. They will always be funny.

I tried to compose myself in sake of the little girl who was still trying to share her doll. Jax kept looking over at me with his hand cupping his mouth and smiling, I was holding it in the best I could, I even went as far as biting my own finger just so I didn't laugh out loud. The more Jax looked at me the more I wanted to laugh, but no one else was laughing, I had to look away, just look away. I even snuck to the back of the parents just so I didn't see Jax's face, whenever he looked at me he snickered and I wanted to laugh too. The teacher just looked at us, it was like I was in school all over again.

After 5 mins of composing myself, I could return to the share time, yes I had to walk away, I had to be the mature parent, but in reality, I wanted to laugh so hard with him, man farts are funny, especially when there is a room full of people with dead silence.

Jax's clone

Move Over Jax, theres a new kid in town and his name is HUDSON KID!!!!

Can't tell which one is which?? Hudson is to the right. Its hard sometimes because he is the same size as his older brother Jax.  And he is Jax's clone, he does everything Jax does, he says everything Jax says. From "fart knocker", to "diarrhea cha cha cha". If its not bad enough I have one kid saying it, now I have two!!! If Jax dances, Hudson dances, if Jax cries, Hudson pretends to cry, he says it all and now that he is turning two in a few months he is getting out of that baby stage and starting to come into his own personality.

We started potty training Hudson since he likes to sit on the toilet.

He hasn't gone yet but he sure likes to wipe himself. But toilet paper isn't the only thing he has puts into the toilet, he likes to sneak into the bathroom and put the whole roll in, he also put Kailey's hairbrush and swirled it around a bit, and also flushed Jax's sunglasses!!

One day I found him "cooling off" in the dogs water dish. Or maybe taking a bath, not really sure!


There are many differences between the two boys, Jax is more like me, small and full of piss and vinegar. Hudson is more like his father, stocky and sensitive, he gets his feelings hurt easily and will let you know. But the one thing he loves to do is EAT!!! He is a human vacuum cleaner!!

Hudson will eat anything. He will finish his plate and then  finish whatever Jax didn't eat on his plate and then sometimes asks for a snack afterwards!! He loves his peanut butter and Jelly!!

Have I forgot to mention that Hudson is a GENIUS?????

He was so proud to find out that a sticker stuck to his snot!! Yep, hes special!! Luckily, besides the bead I pulled out of his ear one day this is the only other thing he has put in his nose or ears.

Did I mention his sensitive side??? Yes he does, he fell in love with my tutu's I made.

Isreal is not so impressed with his son, he didn't want to take it off and liked to model it!!

But hes not all sensitive, he has a manly side too. Hudson is a mad hunter with sharp shooter skills. He loves to pretend to shoot things, he plays a hunting game on the wii and scores higher than me.He has a shooting stance and puts his eye up to the gun like he is really focusing on his shot. He walks around with guns and shoots things all the time, which gets really old and I have to hide the guns so he will use his finger. We will be in a car and I hear, "pooosh, poosh" and I look back to him pointing his finger gun out the window.

I'm sure this is the beginning of my writings on Hudson. He is really a great kid, he loves to snuggle, he is starting to talk alot and has a mind of his own.

When I see pics like this, I think of all the reason's why we decided to have Hudson, we wanted a sibling for Jax to grow up with, so glad they have each other, although sometimes, I wonder why I had that third child because they begun to fight with each other, but at night when he reaches over and hugs me and says, "I wuv you", he makes everything worth it!!

Jaxson's view on pregnancy

So we have a picture of Isreal and I in our living room when I was pregnant for Jaxson. He sees it everyday, well today he brings the picture in to me and says, "so I was in your shirt?", I said "no, you were in my belly", a puzzled look came acrossed his face and then he said" so......you ate me??"  I laughed and said "no I didn't eat you", babies grow in mommies bellies and then when they are ready they come out", so he walks away,mumbles and shakes his head, "why would she eat me??" and placed the picture back.

So apparently to Jax we eat our young. Maybe he is watching too many dinosaur shows. I can't wait for the day I get to explain to him how babies come out of their mommies, I can tell this kid is going to be full of fun questions!!

The gross boy.....

So I never thought I would have the gross boy in class. I mean I know its normal for little kids to pick their noses and eat it but I didn't think MY kid would do it.

Yep, Jax likes to eat boogers. He picks his nose all the time and eats it. Anytime, any place. He will wake up in the morning and the first thing he does is dives in, knuckle deep. I swear he is going to touch his brain one of these days.

Now, at first I ignored it, but the more he did it the more it bugged me. So I decided to call him out on it in front of people, maybe the embarrassment would work, but it didn't,  he didn't care.

So then I thought that if I told him boogers are like poop and you don't eat your poop so you shouldn't eat your boogers, but that didn't stop him either.

I told him that he could touch and hurt his brain, but he thought touching his brain would be cool.

So I guess I have to accept the fact that my son picks his nose and likes to eat it.  Its just soo gross, if Hudson follows I am going to FREAK!!!!

I really wish there was some sort of health benefit to eating your boogers, like extra protein in your diet but I haven't come up with anything yet. I hope he doesn't do it in school, but I have to believe that he is the gross boy in class!! : (

Santa train ride from hell

Ok so here is my Santa train ride story. Let me start out by telling you that during hunting season I don't expect my husband to go to these special things with the kids, would be nice for the help but I have learned in the past it is no fun for anyone by dragging him along. So me and a friend took our kids, Jaxson, Hudson and her daughter on the Santa Express train ride. We would take a train ride, have snacks, play games and Santa would greet each child with a present, sounds fun right? Well it was HELL for me.

First of all, once we got there it was jammed packed, which was expected, we waited a short while and boarded the train. Found seats and crammed in. I had to carry Hudson since he was too little to walk and hold Jaxson's hand so we didn't loose him. After sitting down I learned that the train ride was 2 hours long, "flipping 2 hours long, with all these kids,where are we riding to, the North Pole???" but I thought, "ok its for the children", right away the kids started fighting, we had to wait while the train got going, oh and not to mention the heat wasn't working, so it was freezing, after the train took off  it was fine.
Just as the train took off people started getting up to explore, this older man was standing next to us so his butt was face level with us, all of a sudden I smelled this GOD awful smell, it smelt like rotten eggs and it hit me with a ton of bricks, it even burnt my nose. He passed by and I thought, that man just farted and left every man for himself to smell it. Wow it was bad, a few minutes later, the smell was still there, I'm thinking "what the Hell is that smell???" so then I looked at Hudson, I thought, "Please God no, not here and not now", sure enough I looked in the back of his pants and yup, he shit himself., sorry to the man that I blamed , it was my rotten son.

Of course he shit his pants, why wouldn't he right now, I mean we are on a moving train with a 2X2 bathroom and its packed full!!! I started to sweat a little, not sure if it was the smell or just plain nervousness over what I was going to do. I thought of all my options, well there really was no options, I couldn't let him sit in it. I was sooo pissed, we were literally at the station with a nice large bathroom and changing table 15 minutes ago.

So I said to the man with an elf hat, "my son needs a diaper change, is there room in the bathroom?", he just laughed. "Its tiny, no way". So I say, "this probably is not the first time this has happened, what do you do when a baby needs to be changed on here?" he said "well its not usually this packed and they probably had an empty cart somewhere to hide, but its a full train right now", "of course it is", I thought. So he went up to talk to the conductor on what to do. He comes back 5 minutes later, my eyes still watering and he said , "just come to the back by the bathroom and change him on the empty seat", I said "ok", so I followed him back and took out the changing pad and started to change Hudson.

So here I am families all around me, trying to keep Hudson from falling off this 5 inch seat and changing him with one hand, the elf was barricading us so no one would see, he stood there with me, I felt soo bad for the families that got to smell it, so much for enjoying their train ride!!! What  a Christmas memory for all of us, at least I had the elf. So it was a record changing time, he was all cleaned, we went back to our seats and got back into the Christmas spirit.

We got up and had some snacks, played some games and Santa came and gave the kids gifts, we also went up front and sat on his lap, we went back to our seats to finish out the ride, we probably had another 45 minutes or so. Hudson was standing up on the seat and I could feel his jeans wet, I'm like "what the hell??" so I checked his diaper and his diaper was hardly on him. The tab had broken off his diaper and it was falling off of him, he peed on his jeans!!! "Are you freaking kidding me right now!!!" GOD I HOPE HE DIDN'T PEE ON MRS CLAUSE!!!!!!So I did what any mother would do and laid him down right there and switched out his diaper and jeans. I thought, " I just wanted this day to be over with, get me back to my car, where I can strap the kids in, I won't have to carry another child, or get up and get a snack or stop them from fighting. I could feel my blood pressure rise!!

So the rest of the train ride went well and the kids had fun, that's all that matters but that's not the end of the train ride from hell, if  you have time here is what happened to me with Jaxson.

So on this train ride, we bring gifts with our kids names on it from Santa and they hand them out, I went to the family dollar to pick out like 5$ toys for the boys, as I searched for toys I made sure I bought toys with batteries included so they could play with them on the train ride after they got them, not ones with a lot of parts just something simple, so I wrapped them and Santa gave the boys the gifts, but guess what, apparently I got the only one that didn't work, Jaxson's toy was BROKEN!!!!! I put so much thought into the gifts making sure they had batteries and such, everyone got to play with their gifts on the train but Jax!! I felt sooo bad, I was LIVID!!! But don't worry, as soon as we got home I went right down to the family dollar and got a new one, I guess you get what you pay for, of course it would happen to me!!!!! Not to mention he had to go pee, and I got to carry Hudson in the 2X2 stall, hold Hudson, help Jaxson and make sure no one touched anything!! GOOD TIMES HAD BY ALL!!!!

 Oh and forget the part in the beginning when I said I don't expect Isreal to go with us, because the next train ride, hunting season or not, he is going!!!!

Santa

So this is the first year that Kailey knows the truth about Santa and also the first year that Jaxson understands who Santa is and what he does. Kailey has been such a big helper, from moving the Elf on the Shelf every morning because I would always forget, to hyping up Jaxson by telling Santa stories to him. He is sooo excited.  We went on the Christmas train last weekend and he got to see Santa, in the past he wouldn't go 5 feet of him without crying or hiding but once he realized that Santa and Mrs Clause were handing out presents he decided he wasn't so bad after all and even sat on his lap.

The train ride was fun but stressful for me, that's a whole other story all together. So Santa is awesome now. The other day I was wrapping presents while Jax was at preschool, I put them up on my dresser so the kids couldn't reach them. Later that afternoon Jaxson came yelling and running out of my bedroom, "Santa came, Santa Came, Santa Came Mommy!!!!!"  He saw presents and thought Santa brought them, I just laughed and explained when Santa comes in a few weeks he will leave presents under the tree when we are sleeping, these presents are for his cousins. He was bummed.

Elf on the shelf

So if you haven't heard of Elf on the Shelf for kids here is a quick over view. The Elf on the shelf is a book and a little stuffed elf who hides in different places of your house to "watch" over the kids. The story says that the elf reports bad and good behavior to Santa when the children are sleeping at night. When the kids wake up he is in a different spot and they have to find him. You get to name your elf. Ours is named "Santa's helper", (Jax named him) At first I thought his name was going to be Elf, T-Rex, or his favorite word at the moment, "stupidy" but he thought of "Santa's helper". I could go with that.

 So the first week we had Santa's helper, I would watch Jax glare at him, waiting for him to move, he asked many questions, like, "how did he get up there?," I would have to explain that "he is magic". "Why isn't he moving right now", I said, "he only flies back to the North Pole at night to report whether you have been good or bad", he continues to glare and be in deep thought. he would stare at him forever, just waiting for him to move.

The next week, when he was doing something bad, he would look quick to see if the elf was watching. I would say, "the elf is watching, I wonder if he is going to tell Santa that you pushed your brother", his reply, "nope, he didn't see me do it, he was looking the other way". Well what am I supposed to say to that.

Now he is making things up, but Hell, I was making things up too!

The third week he would get excited to go and look for him, he would go over and whisper to him, I sooo wish I knew what he was saying. Probably trying to bribe him or something.

This week, well he has been telling Hudson, "Hudson don't do that, the elf is watching you" He had heard that enough himself that he couldn't wait to tell someone else.

The Pros and Cons to the Elf on the Shelf,
Pros:
It does get your children to behave a little bit better around the holidays, the elf can even see you at school.
Its a fun tradition
It marks the beginning of the holiday season for our family
It is something to look forward to every day until Christmas morning

Cons:
You have to remember to move the Elf every morning, which I always forget, and that darn elf loves to sit in the same spot day after day. "I don't know why he is in the same spot, he must like to sit on the candle holder"
More lies, if at Christmas time you don't lie enough to your kids, this definitely is just one big lie after another

Overall, I think this is an awesome idea, why didn't I think of this
Grandma has a girl Elf who watches over her house, she was randomly  in the bathroom the last time we were there, not sure why, I told Jax she was watching you pee to make sure you aim and get it in the toilet and to see if you wash your hands. Kinda creepy I know!!

I just cant wait until Hudson understands what the Elf is all about, I can only imagine what they will come up with together!

Smells like Christmas

So after many weeks of Jax crying at school, one day he finally just loved it. He didnt cry when I dropped him off and he has made many friends. He doesnt fight to go anymore and talks a lot about school. He is always bringing home crafts he had made and is very proud of his work.

Well last week in his Friday folder I get a note from his teacher that read:

Lori and Isreal,

Jaxson had to use the bathroom to go poop this morning. He called me in, "Mrs Gray! Come in here!
me-"are you done?"
Jax-" No, I want you to smell this. It smells like Christmas in here!"

When I read it I died laughing. I thought, Christmas??? That is not what our house smells like at Christmas time, unless, Hudson has a full dirty diaper, but where on earth did he get this from?

After talking to his teacher or rather laughing with his teacher, I asked"is there an air freshner in there?" she said "nope just bleach smell", and she went on to say, "it def didnt smell like bleach or Christmas when I walked in there!"

So there you have it, I have no idea where his thoughts come from half of the time!

Apparently at Christmas time our home smells like Shit!

Pre-school wars part 1

So I decided to put Jaxson in preschool, he was getting to the point where he didn't want to stay with anyone but me. Cried whenever I left him, he was with me 24/7. I decided to put him in a preschool right in our hometown which meets 3 days a week for 2.5 hours. I figured that would be a good start.

Well, we talked to Jax about school all summer, he was soo excited to go, some of his friends and his sister already go to school so he was thrilled. As time approached he mentioned about me staying with him, I would say "nope, your a big boy and its your school" he would just smile. We went to sneak preview and met his teachers and saw his classroom, we played with toys and saw some friends, he was nervous.

So as we got ready for his first day, we got dressed, had breakfast and the girls that I watched arrived. Jax told them that he was going to school, we got his backpack and took pics.

He was all excited.

So we took off and I can see him getting more nervous, he was thinking, "is she really going to leave me?" We arrived and went inside.

We hung up his bag and put his stuff in his cubby, I said "ok you are going to stay and play and I will be back after your done and pick you up", he freaked and clug to my leg. I'm thinking, great what am I going to do. So I stayed a few minutes and tried to get him to play with he other kids. Some kids were getting dropped off, some went right away and played, others cried. I thought, great this is not going to work.

There are many moms who take different approaches to leaving their kids at daycare or preschool. There are the drop and runs, keeping it quick and simple no matter what. There are the ones who stay for a few mins and try to engage and bribe their child to stay and then leave. There are the ones who sneak out when the child isnt looking, and then there are the lingerers, who stay until their child tells them they can leave.

You are probably wondering which approach I decided to take, well it was the sneak out, the worst one possible. Not only does it leave your child uncertain of anything but it makes them feel insecure and abandoned. But it was the only thing I could think of, the kid was clinging to my leg and he started to play with the boys so I thought he would be alright. Not to mention I had 3 other kids with me so sneaking out was hard. It was fine until I hit the car, I heard him freak out and cry my name. I felt horrible, "do I go back in and comfort him?, or just leave?" So I sat and pondered and thought maybe he would stop but he didn't, I had to leave, it was best for both of us.

I wanted to cry, how could I do such a thing to my baby boy. I was at home with other kids and he was there crying for me, how could I sneak out, he will never trust me again, all these things went through my head, "I would never do that to him again", I thought but what was I going to do?

It was the longest 2.5 hours of my life, I kept looking at the schedule they gave me and thought , "ok, well he is having snack time right now, hes fine, he loves the snack I packed him. Then they are going to do crafts and reading then I can go get him". I arrived a few minutes early to take a peak, he was playing at the train table with some boys, not crying, just playing. I walked in and he hugged me, I said "are you ready to go home?" he said "yes" and we got his stuff and left. He said on the way home, "I cried for you" and it melted my heart.

We had 2 days to prepare for his next school day, what was I going to do?

How can 1 child be so bad??

So today or should I say lately Jaxson has been pushing my buttons to the point that I just snapped!! How can 1 child that you love and nurture so much  be sooo bad???

Today started out like any other day, Kailey left for school, the boys woke up, I was enjoying my morning coffee as the girls arrived. We do the same thing every morning, we had breakfast, I cleaned up as the kids played, and I don't know what happened but Jax turned into a monster, Is it possible that something possess his body?? Its like hes not that sweet innocent boy I once grew to love. He started hitting the girls, I do the normal punishment and sent him to his room, but this time, he runs right back out behind me laughing, like it was a game or something, but I wasn't laughing. I scooped him back up and put him back in, repeat, repeat, repeat until I spanked and put him in there. I said "do not come out of that room", he looked at me and put his toes out the door. "I wanted to freak out but remained calm. I put him back in and he sat on his bed for oh I would say 20 seconds and headed out to peek around the corner. I thought, "do I say something and send him back in or ignore?" I chose to ignore, he then came out after a minute running and apologized, I let it go.

Again a few more conflicts with jax throwing a toy and hitting a little girl in the head, you guessed it, spank and put in his room, this time he picked up a toy gun and turned around and say, "boom, boom" as he pointed it at me. So apparently now hes shooting me. Is he going to grow up to be a serial killer?? I don't know.

After a few chasings around the house and Jax coming out to apologize, at that point we were ok. So after lunch we had to run to get an oil change on my van, so I was rushing around trying to get 4 kids out the door and Jax starts to act up. He begins to throw things, I said "no throwing toys Jaxson", and he said "ok". As I come around the corner he threw a block and hit me square right between the eyes. Instant pain and I could feel the blood rushing through my body, now I was the one that was possessed and I lost it.

I picked him up by the back of his shirt, spanked his ass, which hurt my hand and more than gently threw him in his room. I screamed at him the whole way to his room, I have never screamed like that EVER, but I couldn't take it. So what did Jax do, not cry in pain because of the bruises that were forming on his ass, not cry because his loving mother was possessed by an evil spirit, but the freaking kid turned around and laughed at me. How does one possessed mother hold back and not kill a child???

Now I know why there is child abuse in this world, I swear I was already at the borderline of child abuse at this point, I turned around and calmly counted to ten, breathe, breathe, Lori, don't beat him!!

Well I didn't beat him but boy was my blood boiling at this point, when he calmed down or should I say I calmed down, I'm sure he was still in his room laughing at me, we all got in the van and were on our way. The kids were pretty good at the garage, except one little incident where Jax took a marker to their white refrigerator, but we wont get into that, we all arrived home in one piece.

 I had it by this point with him and it was only noon, time for nap, the kids went down except Jaxson, nope he wasn't going to lay down for nothing, I had no energy left for him, I couldn't possibly spank him anymore, I hated spanking, the kid laughs at me anyways. Maybe I could tie him down, I dont know.

So many things go through my mind, is he the devil?? Is he possessed? Where did I go wrong? Is this a phase? How does he laugh at me after I spank him?? How do I get him to listen to me? How does he go from a sweet innocent boy to a monster?? How do I deal with him without spanking him all day? Are parents even allowed to spank anymore? Im not even sure of anything.