Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Santa train ride from hell

Ok so here is my Santa train ride story. Let me start out by telling you that during hunting season I don't expect my husband to go to these special things with the kids, would be nice for the help but I have learned in the past it is no fun for anyone by dragging him along. So me and a friend took our kids, Jaxson, Hudson and her daughter on the Santa Express train ride. We would take a train ride, have snacks, play games and Santa would greet each child with a present, sounds fun right? Well it was HELL for me.

First of all, once we got there it was jammed packed, which was expected, we waited a short while and boarded the train. Found seats and crammed in. I had to carry Hudson since he was too little to walk and hold Jaxson's hand so we didn't loose him. After sitting down I learned that the train ride was 2 hours long, "flipping 2 hours long, with all these kids,where are we riding to, the North Pole???" but I thought, "ok its for the children", right away the kids started fighting, we had to wait while the train got going, oh and not to mention the heat wasn't working, so it was freezing, after the train took off  it was fine.
Just as the train took off people started getting up to explore, this older man was standing next to us so his butt was face level with us, all of a sudden I smelled this GOD awful smell, it smelt like rotten eggs and it hit me with a ton of bricks, it even burnt my nose. He passed by and I thought, that man just farted and left every man for himself to smell it. Wow it was bad, a few minutes later, the smell was still there, I'm thinking "what the Hell is that smell???" so then I looked at Hudson, I thought, "Please God no, not here and not now", sure enough I looked in the back of his pants and yup, he shit himself., sorry to the man that I blamed , it was my rotten son.

Of course he shit his pants, why wouldn't he right now, I mean we are on a moving train with a 2X2 bathroom and its packed full!!! I started to sweat a little, not sure if it was the smell or just plain nervousness over what I was going to do. I thought of all my options, well there really was no options, I couldn't let him sit in it. I was sooo pissed, we were literally at the station with a nice large bathroom and changing table 15 minutes ago.

So I said to the man with an elf hat, "my son needs a diaper change, is there room in the bathroom?", he just laughed. "Its tiny, no way". So I say, "this probably is not the first time this has happened, what do you do when a baby needs to be changed on here?" he said "well its not usually this packed and they probably had an empty cart somewhere to hide, but its a full train right now", "of course it is", I thought. So he went up to talk to the conductor on what to do. He comes back 5 minutes later, my eyes still watering and he said , "just come to the back by the bathroom and change him on the empty seat", I said "ok", so I followed him back and took out the changing pad and started to change Hudson.

So here I am families all around me, trying to keep Hudson from falling off this 5 inch seat and changing him with one hand, the elf was barricading us so no one would see, he stood there with me, I felt soo bad for the families that got to smell it, so much for enjoying their train ride!!! What  a Christmas memory for all of us, at least I had the elf. So it was a record changing time, he was all cleaned, we went back to our seats and got back into the Christmas spirit.

We got up and had some snacks, played some games and Santa came and gave the kids gifts, we also went up front and sat on his lap, we went back to our seats to finish out the ride, we probably had another 45 minutes or so. Hudson was standing up on the seat and I could feel his jeans wet, I'm like "what the hell??" so I checked his diaper and his diaper was hardly on him. The tab had broken off his diaper and it was falling off of him, he peed on his jeans!!! "Are you freaking kidding me right now!!!" GOD I HOPE HE DIDN'T PEE ON MRS CLAUSE!!!!!!So I did what any mother would do and laid him down right there and switched out his diaper and jeans. I thought, " I just wanted this day to be over with, get me back to my car, where I can strap the kids in, I won't have to carry another child, or get up and get a snack or stop them from fighting. I could feel my blood pressure rise!!

So the rest of the train ride went well and the kids had fun, that's all that matters but that's not the end of the train ride from hell, if  you have time here is what happened to me with Jaxson.

So on this train ride, we bring gifts with our kids names on it from Santa and they hand them out, I went to the family dollar to pick out like 5$ toys for the boys, as I searched for toys I made sure I bought toys with batteries included so they could play with them on the train ride after they got them, not ones with a lot of parts just something simple, so I wrapped them and Santa gave the boys the gifts, but guess what, apparently I got the only one that didn't work, Jaxson's toy was BROKEN!!!!! I put so much thought into the gifts making sure they had batteries and such, everyone got to play with their gifts on the train but Jax!! I felt sooo bad, I was LIVID!!! But don't worry, as soon as we got home I went right down to the family dollar and got a new one, I guess you get what you pay for, of course it would happen to me!!!!! Not to mention he had to go pee, and I got to carry Hudson in the 2X2 stall, hold Hudson, help Jaxson and make sure no one touched anything!! GOOD TIMES HAD BY ALL!!!!

 Oh and forget the part in the beginning when I said I don't expect Isreal to go with us, because the next train ride, hunting season or not, he is going!!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011


So this is the first year that Kailey knows the truth about Santa and also the first year that Jaxson understands who Santa is and what he does. Kailey has been such a big helper, from moving the Elf on the Shelf every morning because I would always forget, to hyping up Jaxson by telling Santa stories to him. He is sooo excited.  We went on the Christmas train last weekend and he got to see Santa, in the past he wouldn't go 5 feet of him without crying or hiding but once he realized that Santa and Mrs Clause were handing out presents he decided he wasn't so bad after all and even sat on his lap.

The train ride was fun but stressful for me, that's a whole other story all together. So Santa is awesome now. The other day I was wrapping presents while Jax was at preschool, I put them up on my dresser so the kids couldn't reach them. Later that afternoon Jaxson came yelling and running out of my bedroom, "Santa came, Santa Came, Santa Came Mommy!!!!!"  He saw presents and thought Santa brought them, I just laughed and explained when Santa comes in a few weeks he will leave presents under the tree when we are sleeping, these presents are for his cousins. He was bummed.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Elf on the shelf

So if you haven't heard of Elf on the Shelf for kids here is a quick over view. The Elf on the shelf is a book and a little stuffed elf who hides in different places of your house to "watch" over the kids. The story says that the elf reports bad and good behavior to Santa when the children are sleeping at night. When the kids wake up he is in a different spot and they have to find him. You get to name your elf. Ours is named "Santa's helper", (Jax named him) At first I thought his name was going to be Elf, T-Rex, or his favorite word at the moment, "stupidy" but he thought of "Santa's helper". I could go with that.

 So the first week we had Santa's helper, I would watch Jax glare at him, waiting for him to move, he asked many questions, like, "how did he get up there?," I would have to explain that "he is magic". "Why isn't he moving right now", I said, "he only flies back to the North Pole at night to report whether you have been good or bad", he continues to glare and be in deep thought. he would stare at him forever, just waiting for him to move.

The next week, when he was doing something bad, he would look quick to see if the elf was watching. I would say, "the elf is watching, I wonder if he is going to tell Santa that you pushed your brother", his reply, "nope, he didn't see me do it, he was looking the other way". Well what am I supposed to say to that.

Now he is making things up, but Hell, I was making things up too!

The third week he would get excited to go and look for him, he would go over and whisper to him, I sooo wish I knew what he was saying. Probably trying to bribe him or something.

This week, well he has been telling Hudson, "Hudson don't do that, the elf is watching you" He had heard that enough himself that he couldn't wait to tell someone else.

The Pros and Cons to the Elf on the Shelf,
It does get your children to behave a little bit better around the holidays, the elf can even see you at school.
Its a fun tradition
It marks the beginning of the holiday season for our family
It is something to look forward to every day until Christmas morning

You have to remember to move the Elf every morning, which I always forget, and that darn elf loves to sit in the same spot day after day. "I don't know why he is in the same spot, he must like to sit on the candle holder"
More lies, if at Christmas time you don't lie enough to your kids, this definitely is just one big lie after another

Overall, I think this is an awesome idea, why didn't I think of this
Grandma has a girl Elf who watches over her house, she was randomly  in the bathroom the last time we were there, not sure why, I told Jax she was watching you pee to make sure you aim and get it in the toilet and to see if you wash your hands. Kinda creepy I know!!

I just cant wait until Hudson understands what the Elf is all about, I can only imagine what they will come up with together!