Thursday, July 9, 2015

mom van etiquette

So I think there is a certain etiquette to follow when driving a mini van. I feel like the most responsible "soccer mom" who is cheerful and positive.  There are so many things I'm just not sure of when i am driving a mini van, maybe some people can help me out.

When I decided to get a mini van I thought, there goes the MILF. I will be a soccer mom now not the MILF I once was, that was ok with me but it was a hard transition.

When driving a mini van I said before that I feel weird leaving a bar in it, should I be driving the van to a bar? Should I be having a beer and driving a mini van?? It just doesn't seem right.

What about road rage and giving the bird? Today this guy driving a car cut me off and honked his horn in anger at me today, I flipped him off then thought. Its not really cool to be in a mom van and flip someone off. It looks way cooler from someone in an SUV but in a mini van? They were probably like "oh really, what's mommy going to do about it?", it just didn't seem right when I did it (not to mention i had all 3 kids with me but 2 were sleeping and one not even paying attention). I wanted to chase him down and yell out the window but then I thought, I'm in a mini van, not cool.

The old road poke, now could be fun and cool, which was how Jaxson John was conceived but in a mini van? It just doesn't seem right. Even though there would be more room , it just doesn't seem right to me.

Speeding,  I do like to drive fast, not only because I am usually running late but I just always feel like I am in a hurry but I hardly ever speed in the van, I don't know why its weird. Mini vans aren't supposed to be fast and crazy I guess, we are hauling precious cargo.

I just feel that their is a certain perception on moms who drive vans, they do say they are one of the most safest vehicles out there to drive, maybe its because of this etiquette moms are following.

Lets just say my mom van didn't last very long, I just couldn't do it, we went back to an SUV, but at times I see a van and those sliding doors that were once so easy with kids and I sometimes feel jealous but then I quickly snap out of it.

I want my own bathroom

ohhhh that's right, I do have my own bathroom which is off of MY bedroom. So why do the boys insist on using MY bathroom. Jaxson says "its comfy in there!!" What does that even mean??. Scary things happen in bathrooms with boys. In the last few weeks here is what I had to deal with:

-pee on the floor, and yes of course I stepped in it

-sitting in pee in the middle of the night on the seat. How hard is it for boys to lift up the seat!!???? I'm 9 mos pregnant and up at least 3 times a night to pee, nothing worse than your first nightly pee and sitting in urine, and its not even your urine, not sure if that would even make me feel better.

-toothpaste EVERYWHERE!!!! Can't they keep it in the tube!!?? Last week it ended up on my hair straightener and didn't realize it until I started using it, toothpaste in my hair, you can't get that smell and stickiness out unless you rewash it

-toothpaste on my brush, again, toothpaste in my hair

-with my growing belly I didn't realize the toothpaste on the counter, leaned right into it, I was already for work, so annoying to try to wipe it off my shirt, again you smell it all day long.

-toys! There are toys everywhere, its like they can't use the restroom without bringing toys in, which then I step on in the middle of my nightly pee breaks. And if I find the fake spider on the floor again, I might either have a heart attack or actually go into labor, scares the shit out of me every time!

I have seen some weird things in the bathroom, I'm not even sure if they fully outgrow their messiness. So how many years left do I have to deal with this??

Thursday, July 2, 2015

we are back and better than ever!!!

Wow, I can't believe its been a few years since I have shared, to this day I have people asking me about this blog and asking why I stopped and I now see I have almost 10,000 views. Amazing!!! Well to be honest I stopped because life happened, 3 kids, I opening my own business and then another business. Lots of changes. I do miss blogging so I am going to bring it back, I mean honestly my kids are hilarious so why not share!!

Oh, on that note, we are about to add another kid to the mix, a baby girl due at the end of this month, should make things more interesting for sure, should my blog name change?? I guess we can remain my 3 and the baby can be the ...and then some!!! whatever, onto the funny stuff, here is what happened to me this morning....

Hudson is now 5. He is the baby, as of right now, of the family. He has had a cold for the past week, clear runny nose, morning cough, blah, blah, He's the whiny one, but last night about 4-5pm he was complaining of a sore throat. I am thinking, great right before a holiday weekend, why not!!  I knew it was going to be a long night, on top of the 3 times I get up and go to the bathroom, and the 4-5 times I wake up because my pelvis feels like its going to split open,,,, the joys of third trimester. So yes to get back to the story, it was a long night of no sleep, Hudson woke up twice crying and coughing and complaining of his throat hurting. We woke up early and he said he couldn't swallow. I got him an ice pop and contemplated calling the doctor. I should make an appointment thinking if I didn't and it ended up with being strep on the long weekend we would be screwed. So I called...

His pediatrician is very good at squeezing me in early as he knows I have to open my business at 10am. So off we went at 8:15. The only down side of getting squeezed in is the waiting. We waited an hour in the exam room, Every 10 minutes that went by I was more nervous about making it to work on time, also having time to run home and pack my lunch and get to work, because you know the day I run late is the time I have customers waiting at the door....never fails.

9:35 the doctor comes in, at this time Hudson has watched a movie on my phone and was kinda dozing off on my lap. As soon as the doctor walks in Hudson gets up and goes over and hugs him, He says hi to Hudson and states, "Oh Hudson I hear you have a sore throat" Hudson replies, "no".

The doctor looks at me. I look at him and say, "Hudson your throat doesn't hurt?" He says, "no its all better, can I have a lollipop?" I am in a daze, I'm 9 months pregnant, no sleep, ran out of the house to make sure he doesn't have strep, waiting an hour in the exam room, going to be late to work and he says he's fine?? The rage takes over my body, I can feel myself about to explode, I think the doctor knew it, he says, "well with colds and post nasal drip can cause a sore throat in the morning".
 I said, "yes I realize that and wouldn't be here if I thought it was that, he started complaining of it yesterday and I was up with him multiple times last night". He says, well "no strep, keep nose clear and drink lots of fluids"

 Well great, guess whos the crazy one?? Yep, the crazy mom who brings her kid to the doctors and insists he is sick, when hes perfectly fine, yep me!

We walk out the door and down the hall, Hudson turns to me and says, "Dr J always makes me feel better, my throat doesn't hurt anymore" I say, "yes, how wonderful", but what  I really wanted to say is, your lucky I don't shove that lollipop down your throat and make it hurt right now., but I didn't!!