There comes a time in every ones life when you must learn about the birds and the bees. And in that moment there is a mother wanting to crawl under that rug she sitting near or a mother wanting to die of embarrassment.
Kailey will be 12 this year and she is already in the 6th grade. As of right now we have a pretty close relationship, we talk about everything together. There is just one thing I have been wanting to talk to her about and that is the birds and the bees. Call it what you want but its something that needs to be done.
When I was pregnant for Jaxson she was 8 and she asked me "where do babies come from", I froze and that instant had no clue at her age what to say. I wasn't prepared. Do I tell her the truth? Do I tell her about sex? What terms do I use? Penis? Vagina? We have been calling it her "private area" since before I can remember. Everything just flashed before my eyes and my head went blank.
I stumbled, almost crashed the car and calmly told her about puberty, love, and the tiny little egg inside a woman's body. A tiny egg???? Great I thought, now she is probably thinking of this chicken egg inside us. I think she even asked "like a chicken egg?" Then I said "well the baby grows in mommy's belly and then when its time we push really hard for him to come out". The confusion came across her face.
Then I said "something special from a man, and something special from a female, together create a baby".
"oh god, what was she picturing", I thought. Did I say too much? Not enough? what kind of damage did I do?? Did I just totally blow this one??
I ended it and said "maybe you should ask grandma". HAHA, grandma was always my escape goat. but then thought, "oh no, I don't think grandma had the talk with me about sex", I think by the time the third daughter came along she thought that I already knew, either that or growing up on the farm, I watched the cows and animals mating all the time and watched baby kittens being born, so I knew at a young age how it happens.
THAT"S IT!!! We need to visit a farm!!! Or, maybe when we pass by cows in a field mounting up I can say, "oh look they are having sex, and that is how babies are created" OR I need to move out to the country and have a farm, where my kids can watch intercourse at first hand like I did, it would be so much easier than raising a towny.
So the summer I had Hudson we had the "puberty talk", she was going into middle school, some of her friends were developing and I knew I could handle the "period talk".
We talked about the changes she would eventually go through, getting hair, periods and boobs. It went very well and she learned a lot. She asked a lot of questions and I left it open and said, "if you have any questions about anything, please ask me, I will tell you", secretly hoping she would ask about sex, but she didn't.
I tried to bring it up another time when they said something on a show we were watching, the word "intercourse" came up, I said "do you know what intercourse is", she covered her ears and said "don't want to know" and left the room. Damn, my chance went out the window, I said "when you want to know, just ask" and secretly hoping she would ask but didn't. I kept thinking, maybe she already knows.
So here I am, I know it has to be done and I know its going to be awkward for the both of us. But why?? Why does it have to be awkward?? Its life and shouldn't be embarrassing to talk about, but it is, especially because its with my baby girl, I can't believe she is going to know about sex and penis' and the penis going into the vagina. OH MY GOD, I'M FREAKING!!! Do I mention the penis going into the vagina?? Do we talk about sperm?? I guess so because that's what sex is. What is too much information at 11? Do we talk STD's??? Condoms?? I will FREAK if she tells me what exactly sex is. Do I use the word sex, intercourse, doing it, humping, mating, love........???? So many things to think about and mentally prepare for, maybe I should use note cards. What about diagrams?? Pictures???, noooo no pictures. Keep it simple.
I don't know but this weekend we are painting her bedroom together and we will be talking about sex, together, for the first time.......*sigh*...........
Read next week and I will update you and let everyone know how it went. Any good advice on what to say or how to bring it up please let me know.
I hope I don't damage her!!