Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Santa train ride from hell

Ok so here is my Santa train ride story. Let me start out by telling you that during hunting season I don't expect my husband to go to these special things with the kids, would be nice for the help but I have learned in the past it is no fun for anyone by dragging him along. So me and a friend took our kids, Jaxson, Hudson and her daughter on the Santa Express train ride. We would take a train ride, have snacks, play games and Santa would greet each child with a present, sounds fun right? Well it was HELL for me.

First of all, once we got there it was jammed packed, which was expected, we waited a short while and boarded the train. Found seats and crammed in. I had to carry Hudson since he was too little to walk and hold Jaxson's hand so we didn't loose him. After sitting down I learned that the train ride was 2 hours long, "flipping 2 hours long, with all these kids,where are we riding to, the North Pole???" but I thought, "ok its for the children", right away the kids started fighting, we had to wait while the train got going, oh and not to mention the heat wasn't working, so it was freezing, after the train took off  it was fine.
Just as the train took off people started getting up to explore, this older man was standing next to us so his butt was face level with us, all of a sudden I smelled this GOD awful smell, it smelt like rotten eggs and it hit me with a ton of bricks, it even burnt my nose. He passed by and I thought, that man just farted and left every man for himself to smell it. Wow it was bad, a few minutes later, the smell was still there, I'm thinking "what the Hell is that smell???" so then I looked at Hudson, I thought, "Please God no, not here and not now", sure enough I looked in the back of his pants and yup, he shit himself., sorry to the man that I blamed , it was my rotten son.

Of course he shit his pants, why wouldn't he right now, I mean we are on a moving train with a 2X2 bathroom and its packed full!!! I started to sweat a little, not sure if it was the smell or just plain nervousness over what I was going to do. I thought of all my options, well there really was no options, I couldn't let him sit in it. I was sooo pissed, we were literally at the station with a nice large bathroom and changing table 15 minutes ago.

So I said to the man with an elf hat, "my son needs a diaper change, is there room in the bathroom?", he just laughed. "Its tiny, no way". So I say, "this probably is not the first time this has happened, what do you do when a baby needs to be changed on here?" he said "well its not usually this packed and they probably had an empty cart somewhere to hide, but its a full train right now", "of course it is", I thought. So he went up to talk to the conductor on what to do. He comes back 5 minutes later, my eyes still watering and he said , "just come to the back by the bathroom and change him on the empty seat", I said "ok", so I followed him back and took out the changing pad and started to change Hudson.

So here I am families all around me, trying to keep Hudson from falling off this 5 inch seat and changing him with one hand, the elf was barricading us so no one would see, he stood there with me, I felt soo bad for the families that got to smell it, so much for enjoying their train ride!!! What  a Christmas memory for all of us, at least I had the elf. So it was a record changing time, he was all cleaned, we went back to our seats and got back into the Christmas spirit.

We got up and had some snacks, played some games and Santa came and gave the kids gifts, we also went up front and sat on his lap, we went back to our seats to finish out the ride, we probably had another 45 minutes or so. Hudson was standing up on the seat and I could feel his jeans wet, I'm like "what the hell??" so I checked his diaper and his diaper was hardly on him. The tab had broken off his diaper and it was falling off of him, he peed on his jeans!!! "Are you freaking kidding me right now!!!" GOD I HOPE HE DIDN'T PEE ON MRS CLAUSE!!!!!!So I did what any mother would do and laid him down right there and switched out his diaper and jeans. I thought, " I just wanted this day to be over with, get me back to my car, where I can strap the kids in, I won't have to carry another child, or get up and get a snack or stop them from fighting. I could feel my blood pressure rise!!

So the rest of the train ride went well and the kids had fun, that's all that matters but that's not the end of the train ride from hell, if  you have time here is what happened to me with Jaxson.

So on this train ride, we bring gifts with our kids names on it from Santa and they hand them out, I went to the family dollar to pick out like 5$ toys for the boys, as I searched for toys I made sure I bought toys with batteries included so they could play with them on the train ride after they got them, not ones with a lot of parts just something simple, so I wrapped them and Santa gave the boys the gifts, but guess what, apparently I got the only one that didn't work, Jaxson's toy was BROKEN!!!!! I put so much thought into the gifts making sure they had batteries and such, everyone got to play with their gifts on the train but Jax!! I felt sooo bad, I was LIVID!!! But don't worry, as soon as we got home I went right down to the family dollar and got a new one, I guess you get what you pay for, of course it would happen to me!!!!! Not to mention he had to go pee, and I got to carry Hudson in the 2X2 stall, hold Hudson, help Jaxson and make sure no one touched anything!! GOOD TIMES HAD BY ALL!!!!

 Oh and forget the part in the beginning when I said I don't expect Isreal to go with us, because the next train ride, hunting season or not, he is going!!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011


So this is the first year that Kailey knows the truth about Santa and also the first year that Jaxson understands who Santa is and what he does. Kailey has been such a big helper, from moving the Elf on the Shelf every morning because I would always forget, to hyping up Jaxson by telling Santa stories to him. He is sooo excited.  We went on the Christmas train last weekend and he got to see Santa, in the past he wouldn't go 5 feet of him without crying or hiding but once he realized that Santa and Mrs Clause were handing out presents he decided he wasn't so bad after all and even sat on his lap.

The train ride was fun but stressful for me, that's a whole other story all together. So Santa is awesome now. The other day I was wrapping presents while Jax was at preschool, I put them up on my dresser so the kids couldn't reach them. Later that afternoon Jaxson came yelling and running out of my bedroom, "Santa came, Santa Came, Santa Came Mommy!!!!!"  He saw presents and thought Santa brought them, I just laughed and explained when Santa comes in a few weeks he will leave presents under the tree when we are sleeping, these presents are for his cousins. He was bummed.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Elf on the shelf

So if you haven't heard of Elf on the Shelf for kids here is a quick over view. The Elf on the shelf is a book and a little stuffed elf who hides in different places of your house to "watch" over the kids. The story says that the elf reports bad and good behavior to Santa when the children are sleeping at night. When the kids wake up he is in a different spot and they have to find him. You get to name your elf. Ours is named "Santa's helper", (Jax named him) At first I thought his name was going to be Elf, T-Rex, or his favorite word at the moment, "stupidy" but he thought of "Santa's helper". I could go with that.

 So the first week we had Santa's helper, I would watch Jax glare at him, waiting for him to move, he asked many questions, like, "how did he get up there?," I would have to explain that "he is magic". "Why isn't he moving right now", I said, "he only flies back to the North Pole at night to report whether you have been good or bad", he continues to glare and be in deep thought. he would stare at him forever, just waiting for him to move.

The next week, when he was doing something bad, he would look quick to see if the elf was watching. I would say, "the elf is watching, I wonder if he is going to tell Santa that you pushed your brother", his reply, "nope, he didn't see me do it, he was looking the other way". Well what am I supposed to say to that.

Now he is making things up, but Hell, I was making things up too!

The third week he would get excited to go and look for him, he would go over and whisper to him, I sooo wish I knew what he was saying. Probably trying to bribe him or something.

This week, well he has been telling Hudson, "Hudson don't do that, the elf is watching you" He had heard that enough himself that he couldn't wait to tell someone else.

The Pros and Cons to the Elf on the Shelf,
It does get your children to behave a little bit better around the holidays, the elf can even see you at school.
Its a fun tradition
It marks the beginning of the holiday season for our family
It is something to look forward to every day until Christmas morning

You have to remember to move the Elf every morning, which I always forget, and that darn elf loves to sit in the same spot day after day. "I don't know why he is in the same spot, he must like to sit on the candle holder"
More lies, if at Christmas time you don't lie enough to your kids, this definitely is just one big lie after another

Overall, I think this is an awesome idea, why didn't I think of this
Grandma has a girl Elf who watches over her house, she was randomly  in the bathroom the last time we were there, not sure why, I told Jax she was watching you pee to make sure you aim and get it in the toilet and to see if you wash your hands. Kinda creepy I know!!

I just cant wait until Hudson understands what the Elf is all about, I can only imagine what they will come up with together!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Smells like Christmas

So after many weeks of Jax crying at school, one day he finally just loved it. He didnt cry when I dropped him off and he has made many friends. He doesnt fight to go anymore and talks a lot about school. He is always bringing home crafts he had made and is very proud of his work.

Well last week in his Friday folder I get a note from his teacher that read:

Lori and Isreal,

Jaxson had to use the bathroom to go poop this morning. He called me in, "Mrs Gray! Come in here!
me-"are you done?"
Jax-" No, I want you to smell this. It smells like Christmas in here!"

When I read it I died laughing. I thought, Christmas??? That is not what our house smells like at Christmas time, unless, Hudson has a full dirty diaper, but where on earth did he get this from?

After talking to his teacher or rather laughing with his teacher, I asked"is there an air freshner in there?" she said "nope just bleach smell", and she went on to say, "it def didnt smell like bleach or Christmas when I walked in there!"

So there you have it, I have no idea where his thoughts come from half of the time!

Apparently at Christmas time our home smells like Shit!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Pre-school wars part 1

So I decided to put Jaxson in preschool, he was getting to the point where he didn't want to stay with anyone but me. Cried whenever I left him, he was with me 24/7. I decided to put him in a preschool right in our hometown which meets 3 days a week for 2.5 hours. I figured that would be a good start.

Well, we talked to Jax about school all summer, he was soo excited to go, some of his friends and his sister already go to school so he was thrilled. As time approached he mentioned about me staying with him, I would say "nope, your a big boy and its your school" he would just smile. We went to sneak preview and met his teachers and saw his classroom, we played with toys and saw some friends, he was nervous.

So as we got ready for his first day, we got dressed, had breakfast and the girls that I watched arrived. Jax told them that he was going to school, we got his backpack and took pics.

He was all excited.

So we took off and I can see him getting more nervous, he was thinking, "is she really going to leave me?" We arrived and went inside.

We hung up his bag and put his stuff in his cubby, I said "ok you are going to stay and play and I will be back after your done and pick you up", he freaked and clug to my leg. I'm thinking, great what am I going to do. So I stayed a few minutes and tried to get him to play with he other kids. Some kids were getting dropped off, some went right away and played, others cried. I thought, great this is not going to work.

There are many moms who take different approaches to leaving their kids at daycare or preschool. There are the drop and runs, keeping it quick and simple no matter what. There are the ones who stay for a few mins and try to engage and bribe their child to stay and then leave. There are the ones who sneak out when the child isnt looking, and then there are the lingerers, who stay until their child tells them they can leave.

You are probably wondering which approach I decided to take, well it was the sneak out, the worst one possible. Not only does it leave your child uncertain of anything but it makes them feel insecure and abandoned. But it was the only thing I could think of, the kid was clinging to my leg and he started to play with the boys so I thought he would be alright. Not to mention I had 3 other kids with me so sneaking out was hard. It was fine until I hit the car, I heard him freak out and cry my name. I felt horrible, "do I go back in and comfort him?, or just leave?" So I sat and pondered and thought maybe he would stop but he didn't, I had to leave, it was best for both of us.

I wanted to cry, how could I do such a thing to my baby boy. I was at home with other kids and he was there crying for me, how could I sneak out, he will never trust me again, all these things went through my head, "I would never do that to him again", I thought but what was I going to do?

It was the longest 2.5 hours of my life, I kept looking at the schedule they gave me and thought , "ok, well he is having snack time right now, hes fine, he loves the snack I packed him. Then they are going to do crafts and reading then I can go get him". I arrived a few minutes early to take a peak, he was playing at the train table with some boys, not crying, just playing. I walked in and he hugged me, I said "are you ready to go home?" he said "yes" and we got his stuff and left. He said on the way home, "I cried for you" and it melted my heart.

We had 2 days to prepare for his next school day, what was I going to do?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

How can 1 child be so bad??

So today or should I say lately Jaxson has been pushing my buttons to the point that I just snapped!! How can 1 child that you love and nurture so much  be sooo bad???

Today started out like any other day, Kailey left for school, the boys woke up, I was enjoying my morning coffee as the girls arrived. We do the same thing every morning, we had breakfast, I cleaned up as the kids played, and I don't know what happened but Jax turned into a monster, Is it possible that something possess his body?? Its like hes not that sweet innocent boy I once grew to love. He started hitting the girls, I do the normal punishment and sent him to his room, but this time, he runs right back out behind me laughing, like it was a game or something, but I wasn't laughing. I scooped him back up and put him back in, repeat, repeat, repeat until I spanked and put him in there. I said "do not come out of that room", he looked at me and put his toes out the door. "I wanted to freak out but remained calm. I put him back in and he sat on his bed for oh I would say 20 seconds and headed out to peek around the corner. I thought, "do I say something and send him back in or ignore?" I chose to ignore, he then came out after a minute running and apologized, I let it go.

Again a few more conflicts with jax throwing a toy and hitting a little girl in the head, you guessed it, spank and put in his room, this time he picked up a toy gun and turned around and say, "boom, boom" as he pointed it at me. So apparently now hes shooting me. Is he going to grow up to be a serial killer?? I don't know.

After a few chasings around the house and Jax coming out to apologize, at that point we were ok. So after lunch we had to run to get an oil change on my van, so I was rushing around trying to get 4 kids out the door and Jax starts to act up. He begins to throw things, I said "no throwing toys Jaxson", and he said "ok". As I come around the corner he threw a block and hit me square right between the eyes. Instant pain and I could feel the blood rushing through my body, now I was the one that was possessed and I lost it.

I picked him up by the back of his shirt, spanked his ass, which hurt my hand and more than gently threw him in his room. I screamed at him the whole way to his room, I have never screamed like that EVER, but I couldn't take it. So what did Jax do, not cry in pain because of the bruises that were forming on his ass, not cry because his loving mother was possessed by an evil spirit, but the freaking kid turned around and laughed at me. How does one possessed mother hold back and not kill a child???

Now I know why there is child abuse in this world, I swear I was already at the borderline of child abuse at this point, I turned around and calmly counted to ten, breathe, breathe, Lori, don't beat him!!

Well I didn't beat him but boy was my blood boiling at this point, when he calmed down or should I say I calmed down, I'm sure he was still in his room laughing at me, we all got in the van and were on our way. The kids were pretty good at the garage, except one little incident where Jax took a marker to their white refrigerator, but we wont get into that, we all arrived home in one piece.

 I had it by this point with him and it was only noon, time for nap, the kids went down except Jaxson, nope he wasn't going to lay down for nothing, I had no energy left for him, I couldn't possibly spank him anymore, I hated spanking, the kid laughs at me anyways. Maybe I could tie him down, I dont know.

So many things go through my mind, is he the devil?? Is he possessed? Where did I go wrong? Is this a phase? How does he laugh at me after I spank him?? How do I get him to listen to me? How does he go from a sweet innocent boy to a monster?? How do I deal with him without spanking him all day? Are parents even allowed to spank anymore? Im not even sure of anything.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

What in the hell is that???

So this is what I came across when I was cleaning out my bedroom.

Yes that really is a bag of hamburger buns with one half eaten one on the floor under the bed.

Now, we have 2 suspects, my husband Isreal who loves to eat, and my son Jaxson who lately loves to be bad and do things to irritate me. This is under investigation, will report back with the guilty suspect!!

Thursday, September 1, 2011


Well Jax has been potty trained for a month or so now and boy do I feel bad for all my neighbors, he loves to pee outside and he will do it anywhere, I sure hope he doesn't pull his pants down and pee at the school playground.

He is all set to start preschool next week, should be interesting, please, please, please don't pee outside!!!

I also love it when he tells me "good job, mommy!!" for peeing on the toilet. The other day he asked me if I wanted a candy afterwards. I just laugh.

Hudson now runs around with Jaxson, he still eats everything, Pica testing might be in order, he likes to put rocks in his mouth, dirt or just about anything, I swear I feed  him well!!

So I have a I phone, and the kids love playing on the phone, they play games, Jax can navigate the phone better than I can, he watches movies on netflix and does fun things. Well one day I was having lets call it mommy's "tea party" with a girlfriend and I was gong to show her some pics of the kids, well as I started scrolling through, I found out what Jaxson really does with my phone: Here is what I found
He learned how to distort his face with my camera, there must of been 50 pics like these, we never laughed so hard before!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

I smell something

Jax always walks around saying, "I smell something". I am always like, "did someone poop?" This is what Jax does after he says it.
Just helping his mama out, he always races to Hudson to look for poop!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Jaxson turns 3

So yesterday Jaxson turned 3 years old.  This day turned out pretty much like every other day. I couldnt get anything done.
Hudson thought he would swim in the dog water bowl

We ran some errands, we picked up his cake

He got his hair cut

And had a party with his family and friends.

He got some very cool gifts

We were pooped at the end of the day

All in all Jaxson had a very good day. And this is what happens when you leave your children home with your husband for an hour.

He told me when I got home to discover this that he did it because "it was soooo "nummy" and he shared with Hudson"

3 down, 15 more years to go!

Monday, August 1, 2011

yard sale do's and dont's

Yard Sale dont's:

don't plan a yard sale the same week you go away, you will never get everything done

don't try to have a yard sale and have your children around, find a sitter!

don't have your husband and children hang the yard sale signs all over town; the arrows will not be pointing towards your house! (good thing I advertised)

If  you are a smaller person and a large person is looking through your clothes and talks about how she can fit into them  and you are thinking "oh honey there is no way your fitting into that", just dont say anything and let them buy it, the point is to get rid of your stuff not to help people fit into clothes.

Yard sale do's
be organized and have things spread out!

always price things a dollar higher than you want because people will be bargaining and asking for a lower price

If you want to get a reasonable amount of money out of an item, don't put it in your yard sale, people are looking for nice things but cheap!

Funny things that happened at my yard sale:

A lady came to me and asked me if I would take a dollar on a 2 dollar item, as I hesitated and said yes she then handed me a twenty dollar bill to pay for it.

a lady loaded her arms full of items and it came to 5 dollars and proceeded to pay with all change and I'm not just talking quarters!

some people will walk in and out quickly not buying a thing and others will stay an hour looking through every single item.

a guy said that he could find this particular item that I had for sale at another yard sale for cheaper, so now people are comparing yard sale prices, I just told him that he should go buy that one then.

There will always be people showing up early to get the "good" stuff, I advertised for 8am and I had people waiting out front at 7:30, I think I even had some drive bys the night before! Be prepared for yard sale stalkers!!

I had a very large woman looking through my size 4 clothing and told me that if she threw some spanks on she would fit into them, I was thinking there was no way in HELL she was fitting into them but let her buy them anyways. Would love to be a fly on the wall to watch her try!
Yard sales are time consuming and exhausting, but its a good way to de clutter your home and earn some extra cash!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I love my little boy but.....

boys are just weird!!! I am truly convinced that they ARE in fact from another planet. Not only does Jax pretend to drink beer, and I'm not talking about pretend play at our house but he pretends in front of strangers at restaurants that he is drinking beer and its sooo yummy!! I am surprised I haven't been turned in to social services.

He also swears like a truck driver. We are still working on the potty situation and I was making him go in and go to the bathroom, I carried him in and on his way in he is saying "God Damn it"  like it was the worst thing in the world. I told him that it was a bad word to say and he insisted it wasn't. So now certain words people say he tells them not to say it because its a bad word, even though its not, So Im truly convinced he doesn't know what he is saying and that its bad. He hears it enough out of Isreals mouth to not think anything of it, and yes of course its Isreal's fault!!

So he also learned that its WAY cool to pee outside, I mean I must have seen his little unit a thousand times hanging out of his pants one night, he was just whipping it out just to have it out I think because there is no way he had to pee that much. Its really ok with me but we live in the village and have neighbors all around us, not sure how they feel about this because he will go where ever he pleases. I tried to explain to him to hide behind something like a tree or pretend to water it but he likes to pee in the middle of the yard and then yell out loud "mommy I peed.....OUTSIDE!!!" Bless his little heart : { Nothing like drawing a little attention to him while he does it, people are driving by and probably saying, "oh now thats a nice house, oh wow and a little boy peeing outside........... right in the middle of the yard, how nice"  I'm waiting for the time that we are out in public at a park or something and he whips it out in front of everyone, or God forbid Kaileys soccer game!!

We went to a wedding over the weekend and it was a casual wedding at Isreal's grandmothers home, it was a blast, I bought everyone new outfits. I bought the boys shorts, dress shirts with ties, everyone wore everything and looked awesome except Jaxson, he refused to wear the shirt and I was done fighting with him, so he wore his shorts and just a tie, yep no shirt, I also spiked his hair and of course everyone LOVED him and thought he was the cutest thing ever but deep down inside I was wanting to kill him for fighting with me, but it turned out ok, I will post pics when I get them, I had strangers coming up to me wanting to take his picture.

Oh and yes, if you were wondering he did pee outside in front of everyone, we were under a tent and he was right outside of it, good thing he wasn't alone, his little GIRL cousin was right along side of him peeing outside, how nice. Now of course everyone thought it was so cute and funny but as the parent, its not so funny, I wasn't there to see it but I do know someone had to help Jax pull his shorts back up, he ran around with his butt hanging out. Good grief!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Got Beer?

So today I gave Jaxson a cup of apple juice and he asked, "is this beer?" I said "no its apple juice" as I chuckled. He then said, "no its beer", I said "no its apple juice, and how do you know what beer is?"

In walks two little girls I was watching and he said, "my mommy gave me beer", I said "no mommy didn't, its juice" the one girl says, "I want beer too", I said "we don't have beer here, hes just pretending", so then they walked off pretending they were drinking beer. I tell you what if one of the girls go home and tells their parents they were drinking beer at my house I have a lot of explaining to do, I can picture it now, "mommy, we drank beer at Lori's house today" or " Lori gave us beer" I don't know but this could be bad!!

I don't even know where he learned what beer was because we don't drink in front of our kids, but he has been pretending to drink beer all day and he says its soooo yummy!!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011


WHY, WHY, WHY??????

Why doesn't Hudson sleep through the night yet?
Why does Jaxson insist on not getting potty trained and peeing in his underwear?
Why can't I go to the store with my kids and not feel like I went through war when I come out?
Why does Jaxson ask why for EVERYTHING?
Why does Hudson whine all day long?
Why did Jaxson decide not to take naps anymore?
Why does Kailey ask for ice cream every single night like an addiction? ( this is all I can come up with for Kailey, I have no single complaints about her but couldn't leave her out of my why session)
Oh and Why is Kailey almost the same size as me, I don't like it!!
Why does she think she needs a boyfriend? (ok I lied there are some things for her I wonder about)
Why does Jaxson insist on doing the opposite of what I tell him to do?
Why can't all the kids sleep in their own beds for one single night?
Why can't I go into the bathroom alone just one time and not have an audience?
Why wont Hudson stop eating dog food? This is starting to be an every day meal for him.
Why can't I have a normal phone conversation without a kid interrupting me or crying in the background?
Why do my kids eat all day long and then tell me they are hungry?
Why does Jaxson sneak into the bathroom and eat and play with the toothpaste? But when it comes time to brush his teeth he wants no part in it.
Why doesn't the locks on the food cabinet keep my little ones from getting inside and helping themselves?
Why wont Hudson eat any food besides blueberries and cheese doodles, and dog food? For every meal??
Why does Jaxson think its funny to trip Hudson when he is walking and laugh when he falls down?
Why doesn Hudson poop every time in a new fresh clean diaper? no matter how long I wait to change him in the morning.

Oh Yes, I know why, its because I chose to be a mother and this is what having kids is all about!!!  : )

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

play set

So we finally got the kids play set put together, well its been up for a month now and I have to say that the kids LOVE it!!! Its all they do. It has so many things to do on it and it accommodates all the children and age levels that I have here. It took my husband and a friend 2 days to put it together, here are some pics.

My husband working hard and the kids could not wait!!

The finished product, well almost finished project.

This is the picnic table that goes inside behind the rock wall and shutters for all the windows. There is also a glider swing that goes where the baby swing is. If anyone knows my husband he doesn't like to finish a project to completion, he likes to leave the last details for another time apparently.

Even Simon likes it!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

who knew?

So there I sit at the drs again for Hudson's ears and he is sleeping on me. Its 1 in the afternoon and its nap time. Its us, a glowing new family and their newborn and an 1 old man. We sat for 20 mins waiting to get in, it was quiet, and boring. The newborn started crying and the new mother tried everything to comfort him, I look over and the old man who keeps staring at me. I thought well there wasn't really much else going on to look at, but he just kept smiling.  I smile back as my normal happy self.

The new couple kept looking over now and then, the mother trying to comfort her baby and I just kept going about my business.

After 15 minutes of him smiling at me and staring I thought well maybe he thinks I'm pretty, "yep, 30 and still got it in me", well lets be honest hes no Brad Pitt and he was really old so, I just kept smiling back. What a nice happy old man he was.

 Maybe he likes babies, I thought,  although he was smiling and looking at MY baby, not the brand new baby screaming his head off, a little too weird don't you think?  So I look down at my sleeping baby and I see what he was really smiling and staring at, Hudson had his hand on my V-neck shirt and my boobs were EXPOSED!!! Not just my cleavage but half of one of my boobs was almost hanging out.

I quickly moved his hand and the old man looked away, YEP that's what he was looking at, not my pretty face or my pretty smile, not my charming self and definitely not my sleeping little angel, but yes my breasts!!!

How did I not feel my boob hanging out of my shirt??? WOW, didn't see that coming!!

Who knew old men still liked boobies, he looked so sweet and old and innocent but nope he got a show, and your welcome old man, have fun at home with your wife tonight. The peep show is over!

Lets be honest, males are males no matter what age, they all like it!!

Monday, June 6, 2011

shower incident

The other day I was getting out of the shower, it was no different than any other shower, I was drying off, I had a small audience and it was just like any other day, except this time Jax turns to me as I was drying off and laughs. Not only does he laugh but he points at me and says, "hahhahaaha look at your wiener, hahahahaha". I wasn't sure if i should laugh, correct him or just kick him out of the bathroom. So I did all three, I laughed and said, " mommy doesn't have a wiener" and quickly covered myself with my robe. He then turned around and walked out of the bathroom and chuckled, "mommy has a wiener", under his breath.  I was really expecting him to laugh and tell me how small it was or something but he just laughed and pointed. Okay I thought to myself, no more showering if front of Jax anymore.

He also will not stop saying, "puppy power" and pretending to pee in the air. I dont know where he got this from but when did he go from a cute little toddler to a typical little boy.

And why is it that Hudson cries when I spank Jaxson??? This is the total opposite of what is suppose to happen. Hudson cries and Jaxson laughs, so when I spank Jax for being mean to Hudson, Hudson is going to cry for him, so this tactic is not working for me.

Hudson also likes to hit Jax, all the time, I can foresee many fights in the future between these two kids, They are already wrestling and fighting over toys and the sad thing is, is that Hudson already beats up on his big brother. I knew he was going to be a brute at his 8.8 pounds of birth weight but I thought Jax would always have the upper hand as the big brother, but apparently not!
Jax and Hudson

Friday, June 3, 2011

when the urge strikes

So Hudson has been battling ear infections for the past 3 months and we finally got referred to an ENT (Ears, Nose and Throat doctor). So yesterday we were on our way. I arranged care for Jaxson and Kailey so I could just focus on him and what the doctors had to say. Unfortunately we had to drive an hour to get to the hospital and I decided to drink a cup of coffee on the way. We arrived on time and checked in.

Of course you guessed it, I felt the urge to have to go to the bathroom. I decided that I could hold it. We waited for about 20 mins and got called into the exam room. We talked to the nurse, went in for hearing tests and then met the ENT and he did his own evaluation and tests. We then talked to him for awhile. Meanwhile, yes I still had to pee. When we were done we had to check out and set up another apt this meant sitting and waiting. At this point, my bladder was about to explode, it was hurting and I was holding it. My face must have looked flustered, I was wiggling in my seat and sweating bullets. Meanwhile, I was lugging this 23 pound baby around and sitting him on my lap. Once in awhile he would hit my bladder with his foot or arm and I almost lost it a few times, every time he did I almost peed a little.

Normally when this happens I either had a stroller I could keep him in or I had Kailey to hold him, but at that point in time I had neither. I contemplated my options:

I could bring him into the bathroom and try to hold him on my lap and go, although pulling my pants down and up while holding a child could be impossible, then to wash my hands,

I could find a nurse and ask her to hold him while I use the bathroom, looked around and saw no bathroom or nurses

Pee a little in my pants just to relieve the pain so I could get home, (just kidding, this was never an option although it did cross my mind when it hurt)

Bring him into the bathroom and put him on the floor while I go, (this was never an option either, never would I put my kid by the toilet in a public restroom)

So what do other mothers do when they have to use the bathroom and they have a small child who doesn't yet walk or stand very well??

Eventually I held it and the pain subsided, I was able to make it home. Some people must of thought I was crazy with the look on my face and pain in my bladder, wiggling in my seat, but it was bad for awhile, and when the pain does eventually go away, I wonder why?? Its not like the pee has left that area but it does eventually go away.

This situation reminded me of the time I was at the library with 5 kids and I got diarrhea, not fun!! Another story I will eventually tell.

Oh and if you were wondering how his apt went, he is scheduled to see an ENT surgeon in 30 days for possible tubes in his ears if the fluid isn't gone by then. He has slight hearing loss at this point but should get better when the fluid is gone.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

where do I begin???

I haven't been writing lately because I have been sooo busy with everything. Hudson started walking and doing EVERYTHING Jaxson does. He is becoming quite the handful.

Jaxson has been Jaxson, he got into my purse the other night and shoved 5 pieces of gum in his mouth, He took a box of cookies out of the cupboard and kept saying, "I'm not doing nothing" and ran and hide and ate half the box, he definitely takes after his father.

He was watching Scooby doo today and when the song came on "scooby, dooby doo where are you?" instead he sang, "scooby dooby doo, PEE on you" and pretended to pee in the air. I really don't know what to say about this.

Oh and Jaxson started potty training hence the above pee song and dance. I have been very busy with potty training.  He has to pee standing up which is very interesting and messy. Tonight he decided to sit next to me and take his diaper off, he was sitting with his junk hanging out and I said "why don't you go into the bathroom and go potty?" all of a sudden he peed a little and it squirted up in the air and right on me. A nice golden shower for me, awesome.

 Little boys are sooo special.

We were getting ready for bed the other night and he took my contact case off the sink, opens it up and puts his finger in it and then in his eye. He did each eye and then said, "just put my eyes in" and blinked.

He also LOVES to answer the phone. When the phone rings its a race between me and him on who is going to answer it, sometimes when I know its a telemarketer or someone I don't want to talk to, its not so much of a race, he wins, hehe.

Kailey is playing softball so that takes up many of our weekday nights. We also have been running together at night when its not raining. She is looking forward to summer vacation. I beg the differ.

Well thats all I can think of at the moment. More to come, I'm sure.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Happy Birthday Hudson Kid

So today was my baby's first birthday. I can't believe a year ago I had him, this year flew by. He has blessed our family in so many ways.
We celebrated his birthday all day long. The kids made him a banner.

We had a party, he opened presents.

He ate cake

and at the end of the day he loved the box the most

Its almost sad to think that he is not  a baby anymore but looking forward to the years of fun to come!
Happy Birthday Hudson Kid!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

He calls me.....

LORI, well actually its Wory, but Jaxson for a week and a half now calls me by my first name. At first I tried to ignore it and just went about our business, yes, I would answer him when he said it and soon thought it would just fade away and it was something he was going through. I know its normal for all kids to go through this especially because I have so many other children call me Lori all day long, but we went through this faze a year ago.
But now its really starting to irritate me, especially when I correct him and ask him to call me mommy, he looks right at me and calls me Wori.

Today we were in the kitchen and he comes in, "Wory", I ignored him, I thought if he wants something he has to call me mommy or mom or any sort of name like that, and he kept tugging on my pants, "WORY, Wory, Wory.......it went on and on, now it was a test to see who could out last each other, he was going to call me Wory and I refused to answer him until he called me Mommy. It went on and on and on, at one point I wanted to strangle him or just spank him because he was getting on my last nerve, he knew what I wanted him to do but he refused. I would never hit or hurt my child but I know now why there is child abuse in this country, a person who is not as stable as I am or lack of impatience just looses control and hits a child, because I sooo wanted to be unstable at that moment but kept my cool and kept ignoring him. After 15 minutes, guess who won?

Oh yes, HIM!! Ok I couldn't take it anymore, I bent down and said "WHAT"??? he said he was hungry and I said "I'm not giving you anything until you call me mommy. Who am I" I asked. He says, "WORY", ugghhhh "no its mommy" and he says, "nope its Wory"
I know he is doing this to irritate me and its working. I ask him "what's my name", "Wory".  Technically, yes he is right, my name is Lori but to him its mommy.

Seriously, I tried ignoring him, I tried correcting him, I tried telling him that he wasn't going to get what he asks for until he calls me mommy and he just keeps calling me Wory.
I really didn't care at first but now its really driving me crazy..........and he knows it!

Monday, May 2, 2011


So today a little girl asked me if I had a "gina". Yes a gina. And of course I replied, "Well, yes I do have a VA-gina, I'm a girl". She replied, "I have a " FA-gina" too, I'm a girl. Hudson has a wiener, he has a small wiener because he is a baby". "Yep, he sure does", I said. Then she starts saying, "well when I get big like my mommy and daddy, I will have big boobies, just like my mommy. Her boobs are REALLY big, but I have small ones right now, but when I get big they will grow".

At this point I was still trying to absorb the fact that she asked if i had a "gina" that I lost part of the conversation and caught the end of it when she said, "boys can have big boobs too", I just laughed and said, "yep they sure can". She talked about girls boobs are for babies food and boys are not and went on and on and on......

Then the end of the conversation went like this, "do you know boys can pee standing up?? I wish I had a wiener so I can pee outside standing up, like my brother", I said "yes I do know that boys can pee standing up, and yes that is very cool, every girl probably wishes she could do that, but we can't, but we can do lots of things that boys can't do, like have babies", then she asked about babies, I said, well that's a whole other conversation that you should ask your mom.

man oh man, these conversations with these 3 year olds are getting a little detailed and elaborate, whatever happened to the 3 word sentences about toys and cartoons, so inquisitive!!!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


Well Easter was a success.  I thought I would be really disappointed knowing Kailey knows the truth about the holidays but it really wasn't that bad. Here are some things that actually was in my favor.

-she helped me pick out what to put in the baskets and was more excited because she knew what she was getting.
-I got a good nights rest, not having to worry about waking up and putting baskets together in the middle of the night and placing them out before the kids woke.
-I actually got up about 7 am and played Easter bunny and then had some time to myself before the kids woke up.
-Hiding things from a 1 and 2 year old was WAY easier than hiding them from a 10 year old. I wasn't out in the cold garage climbing up a ladder in the middle of the night getting the gifts.
-Kailey wasn't up all hours of the night either trying to really see the Easter bunny or trying to see me play the Easter bunny and catch me in the act, therefore I got really good rest.
-And the number one ultimate best thing was that she wasn't up at the butt crack of dawn!!!!

Kailey really loves her brothers and little kids so she really got them excited for the holidays, it was cute.

Here are some Easter pic events.
Jaxson getting his basket

Hudson wasn't very happy

Kicks his basket over

now hes better and enjoys his basket

Jaxson ready for the Easter egg hunt

Hunting for eggs

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


When Kailey was about 7 or 8 her tooth fell out. The tooth fairy was coming and she was sooo excited. That night she put her tooth under her pillow and went to bed. Of course me, a sleeper, frantically worried about forgetting to put the money under her pillow. What if I forgot to wake up?? I couldn't possibly just stay awake all night,  so I set my alarm and went to bed. The alarm went off and I got up to play tooth fairy. I walked into Kailey's room. It was dark and Kailey was fast asleep. Now all I had to do is sneak in, grab the tooth and get out of there. In and Out, that was the plan.

Well the plan didn't go to well. As I snuck in the dark bedroom, I stumbled over a toy and fell to the ground. I laid there like an army man hiding from his attacker, flat on the ground I heard Kailey stir. I held my breath and waiting for her to go back into a deep sleep. I hit the floor hard, there were toys everywhere and I think I landed on some markers.
There I was at 2 am laying on toys in a dark room, not the greatest situation I have ever been in. I crawled to my knees, and got to her bed. I reached under her pillow and the tooth wasn't there. Holy freakin Hell, where is the tooth? I can't leave money and not take the tooth!! So I moved very slowly to the next pillow, keep in mind she is sleeping on her pillow, of course she put it under the pillow that is on the other side of her, near the wall. I crept over her and without breathing or touching her, finally found the tooth and left the money. I turned around and crept out of the room, it was like dodging land mines in a battle field. I got out without a scratch, well besides my hurt knee from falling on the floor, OPERATION TOOTH FAIRY WAS A SUCCESS!!

So last night she lost another tooth. I was in her room and we were talking about the tooth fairy. I was thinking about my plan for the tooth fairy. Her room was clean and she had 1 pillow on her bed. What if I slipped the money under her pillow right now before she went to bed so I didn't have to worry about waiting for her to fall asleep or creeping in the middle of the night? How could I get it under without her noticing? I laid on her bed while I talked to her. Oh and guess what the tooth fairy only had 10s and 20s that night, lucky her, I slipped a 10 under her pillow and said goodnight. As I walked out she started giggling and said "mom, I have known for 2 years now, thanks for the money"
How did she know??? I froze and turned around and said, "What are you talking about"?? "Whatever mom, I know the truth, just tell me" So I told her the truth and said "2 years??????, I have been going through all of this for nothing for 2 YEARS!!!!!!" I laughed with her and we talked a bit, she told me how she figured it out.

Then I was sad, I feel when your child knows the truth about these things, you mind as well give them a job and move out of the house, they are practically an adult. I can't believe my baby girl is growing up so fast!! I also was very happy that I could go to bed and not have anxiety about getting money under her pillow.

Now I know why the tooth fairy left money on my window sill in the kitchen as a child, what a smart mother I had!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

doctor, doctor.....

So two of my kids who are siblings have recently gone to their doctor's for physicals. So guess what all the kids have been doing the past couple of days. Oh yes, playing doctor. I even have a pretend doctor kit which has been very popular these last few days. Here are some things I have been over hearing, keep in mind there is 1 five year old and 3 two and half year olds.

Two year old girl lays on her back and says to the kids "now check out my penis". Now when I overheard this word "Penis" come out of a 2 year old girls mouth I immediately ran in to investigate. Well yes she was laying on her back and pointing to her "penis", I calmly said, " "M" no checking out penis' and you don't even have a penis" she quickly sat up stunned that I knew what was going on. The other kids were looking at her like she was crazy, either because they knew she didn't have a penis or they wanted to see if she did in fact really had a penis, either way, they were confused.

Its kinda funny, I have a window that is between my living room and kitchen so I can see everything that goes on in the living room when I am in the kitchen, its seems like the kids don't think I can see out that window. They look in the dining room to see if I am looking before they do something they are not supposed to do and then shocked that I catch them, HELLLOOOO I am looking through the window at you kids, its apparently a magic window, they can see in but no one can see out?!!

Back to the doctor talk, I then saw again another girl laying on her back and lifting up her shirt and said, "now for my boobies", well at least she got the right body part and terms down. So again I went in and told all the kids "now I don't mind that you play doctor, but no penis and booby checking, you keep your shirts down and your pants up. Your private areas are meant to be private" Then the 5 year old boy, like always, has to charm into the fact that his doctor had to check it out and that its ok when mommy is there with you but no one else. I said "yes, but not here at my house" .They just looked at me. WOW, all I can say is that we have some fresh little kids here, and playing doctor has certainly got more technical then taking ones blood pressure and temperature.

So happy that they are now into playing with the train table, I had to get their focus to something different.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

All aboard the Dinosaur Train!!

So I took the kids on the Dinosaur train yesterday. I wanted to treat my kids to something special without any extra kids. Jaxson loves this PBS cartoon show and anything to do with trains and dinosaurs is going to be a hit. It was really fun and REALLY packed, they had bus loads of preschoolers pulling in, we waited in line for half an hour just to get our tickets. This is the second time we have been to this train, we did the train robbery back in the Fall which was a lot of fun.
They had cut outs of dinosaurs along the way that the kids had to find looking out the window. They also had crafts and activities for the kids to do along the way. The train departed from Milford NY to Cooperstown NY about an hour long train ride. Here are some pics of the kids on the way.

Jax waiting for the train to depart from the station.

looking for the dinosaurs

Jax telling Hudson about the dinosaurs out the window

Kailey telling that "this is lame" Yes I made her go

Hudson enjoying the ride

This is Jaxson's reaction when Buddy the dinosaur came on board

Buddy saying "hi" to us

Saying "bye" to Buddy

I totally forgot to take a picture of the outside of the train, it was hectic and tons of people to make my way through. I am glad we did it, and we will definitely be riding on this train again!! Wish I had a funny story to tell you but I don't. Jaxson was EXCELLENT. thank goodness!!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Today's events

So yesterday I started my Spring cleaning. What a challenge it has been with the kids. I don't have as many as I usually do but with the school being closed this week I have had some school aged kids as well. I decided to do one room a day, today was the kitchen. Here's a pic of Hudson trying the "help" me clean out the cupboards. He emptied the whole cupboard himself.

Yesterday we were outside all day long, a mere 75 degrees and we were loving it. Guess what I found in Hudson's diaper today? Well besides his poop, LEAVES, yep pieces of leaves. It was sooo gross. Why does he need to eat everything? It can't possibly taste good, and how does he choke it down? OH MY GOD I totally forgot, guess what I caught him doing today? Licking the dust pan!!! Our dust pan has got to be the grossest thing in our house, its dirty and God knows whats on it, I started to dry heave while I was wiping out is mouth. Eww I just puked in my mouth thinking about it.

While we are on the poop and gross conversations guess what I got for the first time with Jaxson this morning? Poop in the underwear!
Now, I don't know about you but there is something about poop in underwear. Yes its gross but its also impossible to get the underwear off without getting it all over the place, and for your information, it was not one hard lump, it was the worst kind of poop in the underwear, mushy!! I thought it would be a good idea to put undies on him this week since I didn't have as many younger kids, but that went right out the window, diapers went right back on!! I knew he was doing it as soon as I saw him hiding, but it was too late.
Not to mention when you get the poop in the underwear, you hate to throw out a new pair but seriously how are you going to salvage it, it went right into the garbage. He was really upset and started crying when I threw his Thomas the Train underwear in the garbage, I said to him, "seriously why are you crying??? I should be the one crying, do you know what I just went through???" It smelt so bad and it was everywhere!!

Besides eating leaves and licking the dustpan, Hudson also decided he would draw a picture, he might possibly be a genius. 11 months old and already using a easel. So what if he eats unusual things, maybe he is a artist!!

Tomorrow I have a special surprise for the kids, I purchased train ride tickets and they are featuring the PBS cartoon Dinosaur Train. I usually don't do things like this on my own, so I hope it goes well, I'm a little scared! Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Everyone Needs a Jaxson

So Jaxson is by no means a bad boy, he is just challenging at times, he is a typical 2 1/2 year old boy and then some. Jaxson is my cuddler, he loves to be held, he loves to hug and kiss and he loves to not listen. Yesterday was one of those days, I'm not sure if he tests me because he is my child and he has to share me with other children or if its a typical toddler boy but here are some things he did yesterday.

Lets start off with breakfast, he is the only child, 2 of them are his age, that is going to spill his drink on the table and then play in it, wipe it all over and splash it on the floor, this happens typically once a day. Yes that is milk in his hair.

When we do arts and crafts he will draw, paint or scribble on himself and the table. He paints his face every time. I refuse to give him scissors.

When the kids wash their hands before we eat he will be the first to wash his hands and purposely won't dry them so he can shake the excess water off of his hands onto the kids faces, they scream and he runs away laughing. Wish I had a pic of this one but I don't.

We tried to play a game yesterday, Elefun, its catching the butterflies in the net.The kids love this game but Jax just likes the nets to use as hats. He really does like to make people laugh.

And at nap time, all the kids go down without a fight, Mr Jaxson gets out of bed 20 times and came out with a nerf gun crawling on the floor looking for me, like he was going to shoot darts at me. And then he hid on me, can you see him under the blanket on the floor?

In the afternoon, another hand washing incident, Jax was still in the bathroom when all the kids were done, I went in to investigate and he had taken Kaileys tooth paste tube and squeezed all the toothpaste out on the counter, wiped it on him, the wall and door, not only was it all over the place but as soon as I walked into bathroom I stepped into a big glob of it. I didn't take a pic of this, I wasn't impressed, but should have.

When we went outside there was one rule, do not go into the water, guess where Jax ran to? And then refused to get out of it. This kid is going to do the opposite of what I tell him to do, maybe I should use reverse psychology and tell him, "go into the water" then maybe he wont. I don't know, hes not really bad, he just doesn't make the right choices. : )

Jax dressed himself the other day, He did a great job. Even though he keeps me on my toes, I wouldn't trade this kid for anything, he loves to make people laugh, he is lovable and loves his baby brother, Hudson is 11 months now and is starting to mimic what Jaxson does, this may not be a good thing. I love my boys and everything they bring to the world.