A life of a SAHM

For those of you who don't know the lingo, SAHM stands for stay at home mom. My day is full of ups and downs and there are several things I always look forward to. Here is a list:

Coffee in the am, I just don't feel right without it, it kick starts my day, it took me 28 years to like it and now I cant live without it.

Checking my email. Its like a surprise every morning and even better when its from a person I know.

Shower without an audience. I try to shower before the boys get up in the morning. But if Hudson wakes before my alarm, I'm screwed. Not only do I have a audience, but I get to bark orders while I'm in there, "Jax get out of the water", "Hudson don't touch the toilet" , "Jax, stop playing with the tampons," Half the time I can't tell you if I shampooed my hair or skipped it and went right to the conditioner part. And forget about shaving, you don't want to go there. At least I will be warmer this winter! Although if Isreal rubs my leg he may think hes in bed with another man.
Not only a shower without an audience but just to be able sit on the toilet without an audience or most of the time I have to go so fast because I have no idea what the children are doing in the other room while I'm  in there.

The mailman, I tell you what, conversation is rare around here, well at least more than 3 word conversations. I know the mail man knows I am waiting for him, hes in and out and looking back as he runs back to his carrier truck, and I'm yelling "SAY A BIG WORD, PLEASE, ANYTHING, JUST SAY A BIG WORD!!!"
Oh and since I am home I also look forward to packages arriving at my door, I may be able to sneak a conversation with the UPS or Fed Ex guy but they are also in and out. I pretend I don't know whats in the package like its a surprise, I have an obsession with shopping online, its too easy.

I guess I should have written, anyone who knocks on my door. Even if its my neighbor telling me that my dogs shit on his yard again. Here we have a classic example of a conversation, I get excited and try to continue it, maybe say something like " oh really, where", "how big was it" maybe next time I will say "what comes around goes around, jerk, keep your dogs off my yard".

Nap time, what childcare provider doesn't look forward to this time of day.

Bad Weather-- Everyone gets hyped up about weather, which is weird since I live in NY and bad weather is the norm but I look forward to bad weather for the excitement. "What?????? theres a flood watch, Holy Shit watch out" , better warn everyone I know. Snow storms are my favorite, maybe because I don't have to go anywhere or be on the roads, I like to watch it out the window and get updates on the news. But what SAHM doesn't, I see all the posts on Facebook, how many inches of snow everyone receives. Even better when the school closes early, soo exciting!! And then I ask everyone that comes to my house that day,  "how are the roads", umm hello, I already know, probably bad since its a snow storm, but still have to ask.

childcare kids getting picked up. Again not because they are leaving but because I can squeeze a whole days worth of conversation in the 10 mins the parent is here. I may ramble about non sense but they don't care.

a moment of pure quietness, its hard to come by in this house and not always a good thing, if the kids are awake it usually means they are up to no good. But sometimes its nice to not hear anything.

Kailey's sporting events,  this may be the only socialization I get, or maybe get that whole week. You can always tell the SAHM at the event, they are usually the ones talking the ears off of the other moms as they watch the game. The other moms are just nodding their heads half listening and half thinking about work or all the chores they have to do at home.
Kailey told me she doesnt want to play softball this year and I started feeling a little depressed, I said to her  "you have to, I need that outing 2 times a week"

When the hubby gets home, not only do I gab his ear off about the poopy diapers and baby fights all day but I get to go to the grocery store without children. WATCH OUT!! , I take my time and pretend its a mini vacation. I may even take the long way home, around the whole town.

And lastly bedtime, the time the kids are sleeping and I can lay in bed and not hold a child, change a diaper, wipe a snotty nose, console a crying child, play with play dough, paint, do homework, yell, cook dinner, clean and do laundry, pick up toys for the 100th time that day, make apts, pay bills..........and I can just lay in silence or listen to my husband snore or hear  "if your happy and you know it clap your hands" song that is stuck in my head for about 4 hours until the baby wakes me up, just to do it all over again the next day!!